safari

Days Twelve to Fifteen
The last part of the trip was two days and three nights on safari. During the days we went out on game drives, and we stayed in a house that butted right up against Kruger National Park and had its own private pool and chef.

When I’d learned that we had the option of adding several days of safari to our trip, I got myself tied up in knots deciding whether or not I should go. An extra 1K was a lot of money, and the idea of driving around in a hot vehicle with a bunch of people for hours on end just to stare at some animals that may or may not show up sounded an awful lot like my version of hell. But maybe I was being shallow and clueless? 

So I systematically grilled everyone I knew who had once lived in African and/or gone on a safari. Everyone, every single person, said I should do it, so after a few more days of agonized waffling (I knew I was being ridiculous) I decided to go for it. I’d probably never be in South Africa again, so why not. The worst that could happen was that I’d hate it for three days and then it’d be over. Whoop-de-do. 

Kruger is about the size of Israel and completely fenced in, which actually kinda made it feel less wild even though the park is, I assure you, totally wild. When members of our group would wander a bit too far when we stopped for potty breaks at the unfenced-in stations, our guides would get visibly agitated, and the one time we were watching a far-off leopard lounging in a tree and our guide got out of the car to hand out cold drinks to us and then then the leopard decided to drop out of the tree, the guide shot back into the vehicle in a flash.

How long would it have taken the leopard to get from the tree to us? we later asked. Four to five seconds, was the answer. 

Aside from that, nothing much of note happened.

We didn’t get to see any lions taking down impalas — we didn’t even see any lions, for that matter. Our drivers mostly kept to the paved roads with short dashes down dirt roads to check out river beds and watering holes.

The elephants were fun — I wished I could’ve just sat there for hours watching them — but our stops were short. We had to keep moving and looking.

Because, see, a safari is kind of like thrift shopping. Maybe you’ll see something, and maybe you won’t, but the fun is in the hunt. (If you like thrift shopping.)

Some of the animals we saw: elephants, a cobra, wildebeests, kudu, warthogs, impala, water buffalo, giraffes, leopard, hippos, baboons, crocks, zebras, assorted birds, etc. What we didn’t see: lions, rhinos, and anything killing anything.

just a couple weeks too late

It wasn’t all driving. We stopped at an elephant museum one day and had lunch in a touristy-kitchy-educational place. Another time we paused mid morning for a snack of rusks and thermoses of hot tea. 

Staying at the private house and having a private chef was an event in its own right.

Our chef would come out to introduce the different parts of the meal, and the servers would stand against the wall while we ate and visited. 

giving me Downton Abbey-esque vibes

The menu was pretty incredible: multiple courses, cocktails and appetizers, lots of game (impala, kudu, and ostrich, as well as tuna tartare and escargot).

this magical little machine brewed the coffee AND frothed the milk

Servings were small so I never felt overfull, and the meals were absolutely delightful, but you know what? I can only do fancy for so long before I get hungry for honest fare. When I think of all the food that we had in South Africa, it’s the simple homemade meals that the women at St. Benedict’s served to us that stand out to me. That was the food that truly fed me — and that I want to recreate in my own kitchen. 

last night in South Africa

Am I glad I went on the safari? Yes, absolutely. The animals were fun, but even better than the animals was getting to see more of South Africa.

Up until that point, we’d been stuck in cities, so getting to see the river beds, scrub trees, sunsets, and red dirt of Kruger — to feel the cold morning air and the blistering noonday sun — and then driving to and from Kruger through the Limpopo mountains, fields of orange groves, and small towns was a whole experience unto itself.

coming down out of the Limpopo Mountains

That’s the part I loved. 

The Last Couple Travel Days
We left Kruger, bussed to Jo’burg, and then hopped on an evening flight for our 8-hour trip to Doha, Qatar. I was seated next to the window, penned in by two young, friendly women, their laps full of computers, blankets, and cords.

Almost immediately, I felt panicky. My shoes were too tight. I was hot. I couldn’t breath. I needed to pee. I had to take my contacts out. I felt full. I couldn’t move. I was thirsty. I couldn’t drink (because then I’d need to pee more). I needed to find my evening medicine. Finally, I got up to go to the bathroom (which was a process, considering how long it took them to dig themselves out) where I peed, popped a Xanax, and then went back to my seat and promptly passed out for the next six hours, thanks be to the pharmacuetical gods.

For the next 13-hour flight I once again had a window seat — nooooo! — but Seth, upon hearing how miserable I’d been, voluntarily swapped his aisle seat for my window seat, at which point I was so relieved and thrilled that I threw my arms around his neck and tried not to cry.

That’s the flight when I figured out that drinks were free on international flights and celebrated by having a gin and tonic and two glasses of white wine.

This same time, years previous: a food-filled weekend in Brooklyn, ippy, the quotidian (11.30.20), Thanksgiving of 2018, Chattanooga Thanksgiving of 2016, Chattanooga Thanksgiving of 2015, pot of red beans.