Snapshots and captions

You guys crack me up. I laughed so hard I got a headache.

It was so strange to get your captions, read what you wrote and realize I had no idea what you were talking about because my perception of the photos I posted was so completely different from your interpretations.

Thanks for humoring me and giving me a day off from writing. I like being lazy.

Picture Number One:

I just knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone! –Mama Pea

Truth: That’s exactly what happened.

Picture Number Two:

I keep telling the kids… “Would ya stop plucking the darn chickens feathers and writing with their poo… it’s not normal” but they never listen… -Mavis

Truth: Miss Beccaboo got a feather somewhere, took apart a pen, and then put the
ink cartridge in the feather. It fits. She can even cap it.

Picture Number Three:

Homemade mayonnaise. I’m a convert.

Picture Number Four:

Holy Crap I’m getting old… I have to squint and look thru 2 lenses just to see anything… -Mavis

Truth: the above, yes … plus, I just wanted to show you my dorky new look.

Picture Number Five:

You ate so many French baguettes last week that you can’t stand the thought of shoving one more tiny morsel of carbalicious goodness into your mouth. Instead, you stand there and make sculptures with it. –Zoe


Truth: bread bowls for broccoli soup. I thought it’d be a nice treat for the kids. You know, a novelty, permission to play with their food, etc. But they didn’t like them. Not a single kid liked them. By the end of the meal I was snip-snappy. For dessert there was a stunning lecture on appreciation and mealtime etiquette.

Picture Number Six:

Sadly the well has run dry… Mr. Handsome can no longer bear children… -Mavis

Truth: I just wanted to take a picture of a water drip. I think I took about 30. I never got a good picture of the drop dripping, though.

But Mavis, about bearing children: yesterday some strange man stopped by to ask whether or not we’ve seen his missing dog. I hadn’t, but I invited him inside while I hollered at the kids to find out if they’d noticed any strange dogs running around. The man stepped inside and the kids swarmed—Yo-Yo was over by the stove shooting Mr. Handsome’s sneakers off the back of the sofa with a giant rubber band. Nickel and Miss Beccaboo came streaming the stairs. And Sweetsie ducked out of the little fort under the stairs.

The man’s eyes got big and he said, “Wow, you’ve got a whole pack!”

“Yeah,” I laughed.

And then, chuckling, “I hope you and your husband have gotten it figured out by now?”

Huh? Did he really just SAY that? I smiled benignly while discreetly scrutinizing him, but he was talking about something else, his comment already forgotten.

I giggle every time I think of that conversation. So rude and funny, all at the same time. I liked him.

Picture Number Seven:

The little kids decided to clean my bedroom by themselves. Part of the cleaning process involved moving some of the potted plants that were on my dresser back to Nickel and Sweetsie’s room where they belong. (I had moved them to my room one night a week or two ago when Nickel had a nightmare and refused to stay in his bed unless I took all the plants out of his room.) Sweetsie was the one carrying the pot of trailing whatever-you-call-it out of my room, and as she walked through the door, one of the tendrils caught on the doorknob, unbeknownst to her. Sweetsie kept walking; the door kept the plant. What you see on the window sill are my efforts to salvage some of the greenery.

Picture Number Eight:

Living with these people is not easy… sometimes I have to take a little swig just to make it to lunch… -Mavis

Truth: the fixings for French Onion Soup.

Picture Number Nine:

You thought maybe you’d stash the chips on the floor to fatten up the mice so they don’t scurry so fast through the walls at night. –Zoe

Six minus one. (The first bag didn’t make it past Mr. H’s lunchtime at the Frankferd Farms buying group pickup spot. Didn’t he ‘fess up?) -Kris

Truth: we do have a mouse.

Truth: It better not touch my chips.

Truth: there were six bags originally, and yes, Kris, Mr. Handsome tore into one of them on his way home from work. They were on special and they are incredibly delicious. Now they’ve been elevated from floor to top pantry shelf. I’m hoarding them.

Picture Number Ten:

I know this isn’t the way Mommy makes grilled cheese but it’s the way I do it. –Mama Pea

Truth: Mr. Handsome is tearing into a piece of hot fried chicken. The kids had swarmed him when he first started sampling, so he banished them from the kitchen and then called them one by one to the table to take a taste.

This same time, years previous: Julia’s chocolate almond cake, plus chocolate butter frosting, five-minute bread


  • Natasha

    I thought the buns were white and pumpernickel too; never dawned on me they were burnt, but now that it's been pointed out to me, I can totally see it… LOL!

  • Gelfling

    Wow, you must live in a very low-crime neighborhood. The idea of inviting a strange man looking for his lost dog into the house made my arm twitch in the direction of my shot gun! I suppose that's part of living in Philadelphia…

  • Margo

    what's your new look? bangs? glasses? I like 'em both.

    This was funny, even if I didn't have time to bang out captions. I totally recognized the mayo picture. But I thought the bags of chips were some kind of fertilizer or soil. Ha. What's the brand? I ADORE chips.

    That green traily plant (I have lots of them because of our dark house) is pothos. I know the names of three of my plants (fern, jade plant, pothos). In fact, I have one permanently in a vase of water in our dark dark bathroom.

Leave a Comment