My cousin(in-law)’s book of poems came out last week and, in a blaze of glory, immediately skyrocketed to number one on the NY Times paperback bestseller’s list, can you even imagine? (I can’t, but it’s true!)
Last night my husband picked up the book and started flipping through, reading, reading, reading.
I cut him a look. “You’re more absorbed in that book than you were in mine.”
“This book is finished, Jen. Yours isn’t.”
As though that makes any difference.
And then— “Listen to this,” and he read out loud:
Crescendo The moment in the argument when the only sound between us is the buzz of locusts, cars from a passing street, God licking her fingertips, wondering how this is going to go.
We both burst out laughing. God licking her fingertips! Oh, yes.
Later, talking in bed, my husband rudely interrupted more than once and I fell silent.
Him: So now you’re not talking to me. Me: Him: It’s really quiet. [Beat] Is God licking her fingers?
And we both busted up laughing all over again.
Thank you, Kate. And congratulations! We’re all so very proud of you.
The other morning, quite by accident, I discovered my favorite moment of the entire day.
It was Sunday, I think, and I was standing in the kitchen pouring my first cup of coffee. My husband was leaning against the island, chatting with me. The kids still in bed, the house was quiet, clean. I’d lit candles, a fire burned in the woodstove, and outside rain clouds threatened. Already, I’d gone on a run, lifted weights, and showered. Dressed, with my eyes in, make-up on, and hair scrunched, I felt both gloriously wide awake and luxuriously relaxed.
As I screwed on the lid of my thermal mug, I sighed happily. “This is the best part of the whole day.”
As soon as I said it, I realized just how true it was. All the hard stuff was done and now I got to enjoy my coffee. Visit with my husband. Catch up on computer stuff. Eat.
There are lots of other happy moments throughout the day — all of us lingering at the table after supper, talking sput; shooing the kids off to bed and cuddling on the sofa with my husband to watch a show; burrowing deep into a writing project (or rather, finishing a writing project); drinking tea on the porch with a friend — but there’s nothing quite like the deep satisfaction of a dreaded task completed mixed with the anticipation of that first cup of coffee and it’s-a-new-day buzz.
In case you haven’t already noticed, this blog is in the middle of undergoing a massive overhaul. After months of listening to me fuss about the new blogger format, and then coming to my rescue over every little thing, my brother finally convinced me to let him switch the whole thing from blogger over to wordpress.
For a little bit there, it was touch and go.
One night, with the transfer in process and my blog in tatters (or at least inaccessible — is there a difference?) and the rest of the world falling down around my ears (a state of affairs which are, I’m afraid, becoming increasingly normal but some days I just can’t even), I had to pop an Advil PM just so I’d be able to sleep.
And then my brother worked his magic and everything turned out hunkydory!
Or mostly so. There are glitches, still. Scrolling through, you’ll see line-spacing, font, and centering issues (just to name a few), all lingering evidence of the HTML contortions I had to put myself through to make my posts look uniform.
Now all that junk is visible.
photo credit: my older daughter
It pains my soul, it does.
But not enough to make myself go back through and painstakingly pick through each knot! My time is too valuable (or so I like to believe) and this blog too inconsequential. The content is still legible and that, I’ve decided, is good enough. Thank you, in advance, for being gracious and overlooking my computery ineptitude. (That said, if you do come upon a particular post that is twisted unbearably — especially the popular posts and the ones with recipes — tell me.)
But now, for the good news: I love wordpress! I’m only just getting started, and I’ve got miles to go before I’m even a little bit competent, but — Holy cow, it is so easy!!! There are so many options! It makes sense! I have control!
The other night, jittery with excitement from all the wonderfulness, I left my desk to stand in front of the sofa where my husband was deep in an episode of Game of Thrones. “It’s amazing,” I hissed. “Like, really, really amazing. It’s like—” I cast about, trying to find the words — “It’s like all those years with blogger I was chiseling my bog posts out of stone.”
Sure, there will be glitches and headaches and unfixable problems — this is me working with a computer, remember — and I have a dozen years of blog posts that are in varying degrees of imperfectness, but so what. I’m imperfect, too, and heck if I’m going to let that stop me from trying to coax beauty and meaning from the daily grind of my flawed and oh-so ordinary life.
To change! [clinks glass] To imperfections! [glass shatters] To life!
