For months — years, maybe — I’ve been on the hunt for a scent. I wanted something sweet and cozy. Gentle and warm. Clean. Unobtrusive. Vanilla or coconut or sugar-n-butter. Most important, it couldn’t be astringent, or chemically. My husband is super sensitive to odors — spray the wrong scent around him and he gets an immediate headache. 

Sidenote: when I mentioned my quest for a scent to my girlfriends, their first response was, “Why?” Guess I’m not as earthy-granola as the company I keep, ha! But as for my answer: I like smelling like something other than Nothing. I find it deeply soothing to pull on a shirt that I wore the day before and catch a comforting whiff of golden goodness, like graham crackers and marshmallows and toffee. Even if it’s so mild no one else can smell it — to me, it’s a happy treat.

Fast forward to the other week when I was at a PT appointment (a whole other story), when one of the techs walked by and I caught a whiff of something delicious. I asked what she was wearing, and when I left the place, I had a sticky note with the scribbled name of her perfume tucked into the book I was reading. 

It took me a few days to gather up the courage to order the perfume (last time I ordered a scent, it went straight into the trash), but then I took the plunge and — hallelujah! It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for: sweet and comforting, with zero burny chemical smell. 

And the best part? It passes the sensitive husband test! I can even put it on before climbing into bed and he doesn’t roar in protest.  

***

I do not have social anxiety, but I love this story/dance/poem about it. 

***

At the dentist the other day for an emergency appointment (another whole other story), the dentist asked me about the book I was reading. It’s a novel, I said. What’s it about? she asked. She was trying to distract me, but I was tense and couldn’t think, so I just mumbled something along the lines of, “Um, well, I don’t know. There’s people in it. They do things.”

Which pretty much sums up how I feel about novels.

But here’s the exciting bit. On Saturday, I read a whole entire book all in one day. (Actually, I first finished another book and then I read a whole new one — WHAT?!) 

It was weird, spending that many consecutive hours reading, but it was also kinda fun, in a boring sort of way. (I was trying to go easy on the knee. PT was a wash — except for the perfume discovery and the kinda-maybe-perhaps diagnosis of tendonitis.)

ANYWAY. 

The book, which was not a novel thankyouverymuch, was about a grandmother-granddaughter relationship and the writing is funny and sharp and REAL, and it made me laugh out loud and get excited to be a grandma. Five stars. 

(The other book was also very good and not a novel.)

***

If you see these at your Costco, BUY THEM.

Better yet, buy ALL of them. You can thank me later.

I bought a bag on a whim, and once I got around to opening them, they got gobbled up in just a few days — because they are a-may-zah-zing. (Pro-tip: they pair spectacularly with coffee.)

So I told my daughter to pick some up when she went to Costco, and when she texted that they were sold out, I didn’t believe her. But then I went to Costco myself and there really truly weren’t any. I even made a guy check the computer system. They might be back at Christmas, he said. 

So now I’m telling everyone (i.e. YOU) to be on the lookout. One must always be prepared about these matters. 

***

The third season of The Diplomat (Netflix) is out! 

It’s not often that my husband and I land on a show we can both watch, but this one ticks all our picky boxes. 

(We also just finished Severance which we kinda loved — maybe? — and we’re rewatching Ted Lasso as our de-intensify show before heading to bed.) 

***

Which leads me to this poster which makes me inordinately happy, and which I want.*

The girls say it came with their purchase of the Lasso DVD set. They aren’t parting with it (I don’t blame them), and it isn’t — to the best of my internet digging — available anywhere.

Woe. 

(*Whenever we WANT something, someone always says, “I want that ship.” IYKYK.)

***

Buying jeans is The Worst. Can I get an amen?

Actually, no. Wearing jeans that don’t ever quite fit— that’s worse. Year in and year out, I put myself through torture to find jeans that fit well enough, and then I get home and things go sideways. They bunch, fall down, ride up, sag — it’s always something. 

So when my husband took me on a birthday outing to Charlottesville, I hit up Madewell while he snoozed in the car. I’d been itching to try their jeans for years. 

The store was predictably bougie, and it irked me that the sizes were mostly medium or small (at size 29, my jeans were on the upper end of what they had available in-store), but I tried on everything and walked out with two pairs.

They’re different than what I’m used to — a lot more fabric, snug and fitted around the waist, and plenty long enough (finally!!!) — so the verdict is still out. But I’m hopeful. If these work, I’ll be overjoyed. 

Because it makes much more sense to buy one expensive pair of jeans that fits than four pairs that don’t.

***

This same time, years previous: Spanish poblano casserole, four fun things, making the bed, menopause: seven stories, three things, curbing the technology addiction, a hairy situation, back in business, three feet, field work, the reading week.

I know I already mentioned that we built a patio, but “built a patio” doesn’t do the process justice. 

Let’s back up. 

Years ago, my husband “foraged” some huge slate patio tiles. We knew we wanted a patio someday — we just didn’t know where, or when. But then this spring, probably right around the time we hosted the family gathering (or maybe when we hosted the neighborhood potluck?), the idea for The Exact Perfect Place for a patio popped into my head. 

family gathering

I looked at everyone lounging in the yard below the porch, tucked in beside the deck and shielded from view of the road, and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that that’s where the patio belonged. 

But how to connect it to the main porch? Knock out the porch railing and build broad steps down to the patio? Build stairs down from the deck? We debated this question for weeks. It felt like an impossible conundrum, but when we settled on attaching the stairs to the deck “hallway” and running them down along the side of the porch, the answer felt obvious. 

Then there was the “how big to make it” discussion and the “how to deal with the slope of the yard” discussion, and the “to build a retaining wall or not” discussion and the “we need more tiles” discussion and the “what color grout” discussion. 

And so on. 

introducing Eucefe!

Between and around all those discussions, my husband built the patio. 

I have always been a huge fan of rambling old farmhouses with different levels — the kind where you go up twelve steps, turn right and go up five more steps, walk down a hall, turn left, and go down two steps. Et cetera. 

As soon my husband built the steps connecting the patio to the porch, I went nuts — running laps from deck to walkway [two steps down] to patio [five steps down] around to the main porch stairs [5 steps up] across the porch to the basement [9 steps down and then back up] to the house entrance [2 steps up] through the kitchen, back to the deck and then to the yard [9 steps down]. YOU GUYS. NOW I HAVE RAMBLY FARMHOUSE STEPS. 

A few months back when the patio was still in the concept phase, some friends who were moving sold us some of their patio furniture (we went for the outdoor sofa and came away with the sofa, a bistro table and chairs, a table, and a chiminea). I wasn’t sure about the chiminea — would we even like it? — and all summer it lurked in the yard, hidden under its canvas shroud. 

The first night we had friends over for a patio hang, I knew within minutes that the chiminea was exactly perfect. It gives off heat but (almost) without any smoke — even after long fireside chats, I don’t smell like smoke — and it creates immediate ambiance, drawing people in and coaxing them to linger. That chiminea is a better host than I am. 

Unexpected Patio Bonus: when I’m on the patio, I separate from the house to a much greater degree than I do when I’m on the porch. It’s like I’m on a little mini vacation from my life. 

falling walnuts add a thrilling element of danger to our leisurely chats

The patio isn’t fully optimized — we’re still figuring out furniture and seating and flow and lighting, and we have ideas for some future add-ons (maybe) — but all that will come. 

In the meantime, I’m luxuriating in my expanded outdoor space, packing in as many outdoor patio events as my husband will tolerate before the cold weather moves in. 

This same time, years previous: Belper Knolle, fig walnut biscotti, pasta with chicken and oven-roasted tomatoes, salted caramel ice cream, contradictions and cream, the quotidian (10.8.12), bits and pieces.

Quotidian: daily, usual or customary;
everyday; ordinary; commonplace

Be like your butter: cultured, salty, and sweet.

Attempted to level up my thumbnails and the team said they were too stockphoto-esque, ha.
^{(two-ingredient mozzarella coming soon!)}

Make salsa, check.

Oversized pop-tart.

Basket of props for a cheesemaking “lecture.”

The space efficiency saga continues: drawers going in.

Birthday gift from my sweetie.

Fiber optic internet in the works!

Daughter-made bouquet.

Mugs match seats.

This same time, years previous: easy-peel hard boiled eggs, mushroom salt, a nurse’s lament, sunflowers, the quotidian (10.2.18), twelve thousand doughnuts, the quotidian (10.6.14), it’s for real, one foggy morning.