a new project

So. I’ve started a YouTube channel

Just saying that feels weird, and scary. I’ve always hated being filmed, so taking videos of myself and then posting them on the internet is the last thing I ever thought I’d do. But then I began to notice just how much I learn from and appreciate YouTube videos. I turn to home YouTubers for everything from cheesemaking to random skill-acquisition like cake decorating, cutting up a whole chicken, and instant pot usage to Scrivener and (of course) YouTube tutorials. My husband refers to Youtube for building and auto mechanics, and YouTube is my younger son’s go-to for arduino and computer programming tutorials. 

And then I was like, hang on a sec. I know how to do (some) things and I love to talk to people and I don’t want to go anywhere. Maybe I should try YouTube?

It felt a little nuts — still does — but I plunged in, burying myself up to my eyeballs in iMovie and Snappa. I knocked out a few videos, learning how to use an iPhone for video (it has more than one camera!) and download video and make thumbnails as I went. It was surprising how quickly I grew accustomed to talking to a camera. Finally, I’m feel comfortable enough to share the videos

Scratch that. I’m not comfortable at all. I’m so (embarrassingly) edgy and insecure and nervous that I have to give myself frequent pep talks. Get over yourself, Jennifer, I say. What’s the big deal? As long as you’re having fun, go for it. 

So I am — going for it and having fun, all while trying to get over myself. (It’s complicated.)

What’s my end goal? I’m not sure. Mostly, I just want to talk about the random and/or obscure things that make me happy, like cheesemaking and cooking and Who Knows What All. Maybe, if I’m lucky, people will talk back and I’ll make friends and, in turn, learn things from them. 

What I do know is that I’m no expert and my videos are far from perfect. But I’m okay with that — partly because I have to be (hello, zero-tech skills) and partly because Being Myself is the point. It’s all I really have to offer: Just me, sharing the things I love with whoever shows up. Could be super fun, or it could be tedious as hell. 

We’ll see.

This same time, years previous: in progress, crispy baked hash browns, cheesy bacon toasts, to read, potatoes with roasted garlic vinaigrette.

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