a hairy situation

Let’s talk about hair, shall we? Specifically (and, obviously, because I rule this space), let’s talk about my hair.

Here’s the deal: the texture of my hair — lots of body with one part (uneven) wave, one part curl, and one gigantic part frizz — has been giving me (minor) fits.

Maybe you can help?

First, here’s what my hair looks like when I let it completely air dry:

Also, after washing my hair, I usually spritz in some Pureology Colour Fanatic, the first step in battling the wiry-frizz problem. It makes my hair a couple degrees softer. And it smells good, too.

Currently, I utilize two different styling treatments, which sounds complicated, but really, it only takes five to ten minutes.

When my hair is halfway dry, I use a large wooden brush and a monster hairdryer to blow it out and give it some shape. Then I follow up with some heavy-duty hair-straightening to quiet the persistent frizz. (To protect my hair from the heat, I spritz a little Fructis Style Flat Iron Perfector Straightening Mist prior to ironing my locks.)

Here are the results, back in July, when it was super hot outside and my hair was a bit shorter than it is now:

Curly (ish):
When my hair is halfway dry, I spritz in a little Aveda’s Be Curly Curl Enchancer to draw out the natural curl. Then once the hair is completely dry, I do a quick pass with the curling iron, focusing on the extra-frizzy and/or straight clumps. When utilizing this method, I have to avoid all combs and brushes which would, immediately and irrevocably, obliterate my hard-won curls.

To tame the poof and keep it out of my eyes, I often twist back the sides:

By the end of the day, the curl has relaxed considerably but so has the frizz, so it sort of evens out:

And on Day Two (I wash my hair every other day), my hair is lankier, the curl even softer.

So here’s my question: Is there any way to get my hair soft and smooth from the very beginning, without all this spraying and straightening and curling?

I’m envisioning some sort of serum — just a couple drops of something (that’s not terribly expensive, pretty please) — that I massage into my still-wet hair that magically turns my hair silky-smooth.

Does something like this even exist?

(I have my doubts, but one can always dream…)

This same time, years previous: hair loss (ha! apparently October is Jennifer’s “let’s talk about hair” month), where the furry things are, the quotidian (10.19.15), would you come?, pumpkin sausage cream sauce.


  • Krystal

    I recently started using an product by Wella called Luxe Oil every other day and it seems to hold my curls together and eliminate a lot of the frizz. They have a full line of products but I haven't tried them yet.

  • JJ

    I am maybe your hair opposite- fine, blonde, straight. But, I remembered reading a lot of comments on caring for curly hair on this post:https://cupofjo.com/2017/10/carmen-machado-beauty-uniform/

    cupofjo also addresses curly hair in some other posts, just google

    One example from a commenter: "I highly recommend finding out your hair porosity. Sunkissalba is one of my favorite curly girls, she explains the porosity test: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jnjicHoZrJY

    Then, if you go on Naturallycurly.com’s website, you can take a texture quiz: https://www.naturallycurly.com/quiz/

    Knowing your texture and curl pattern (which you can also find on the naturallycurly.com website) is super helpful in finding the best products for your hair and how best to care for it. You can also google “devacut” and see who in your area is a certified devacut stylist."

    I love your hair curly! good luck

  • Heidiho

    I have very curly hair. I've tried the curly girl/Diva method but it just isn't practical because of the air drying. That can take hours, I need to get on with my day. My solution is Frizz Ease products. I apply Flawlessly Straight conditioner after I towel dry my hair and leave it in. Then some Unwind Curls styling cream. This combo really cuts the frizz. It's very affordable and available everywhere.

  • mommychef

    I have the same hair type (but you have way more hair). I highly recommend a high-end ceramic straightening iron. Mine is a Chia brand that I've had 10+ years and even repaired the cord/plug a few times. For curly days, I really like Miss Jessie products which are reasonably priced at Target in the States but when you have to order them on line from Canada….I try and make them last until the next visit. The Coily Custard and Pillow Soft Curls are both good products and you don't need to use a ton of them. A teensy bit of coconut oil also woks well on frizz.

  • katie

    I'm in a similar boat with kinda curly, lotsa frizzy. I'm way lazier than you about taking care of it though and usually just pull it straight back (and keep shorter — via homemade haircuts — just long enough to pull back.)

    But of course, none of that changes the frizz solution, so I have settled on not really washing my hair. Maybe once every month or two? I started with stretching out my washing days slowly, getting up to once/week, then once/two weeks. Before I knew it, I wasn't even thinking about washing my hair and a month or more would pass. You head seems to adjust to this and that bit of natural grease does a lot for keeping the frizz in check. I also only brush when wet (or before getting it wet).

    Now, when I say "wash" I mean using soap on my hair (I wash with Dr. Bronners). I get my hair wet and give the scalp a good wash with my fingertips every time I take a shower, but no soap. Most people in my life, including my Mom have no idea how infrequently I wash my hair. Let me be clear, I will never win a hair fashion contest, but this approach makes it manageable and keeps it out of my mind!

    • karen

      My thoughts exactly. My eyes bugged out when I read that you wash it every couple of days … I was doing baking soda and vinegar for years, and I've gotten way out of the habit of the constant detergent use.

      My girls and I wash our hair far less frequently and with little to no products — I mostly rinse mine often with hot hot water and scrub hard.

  • Anonymous

    Star with a good salon cut, they work wonders. Your flat iron should be getting your hair smoother than this. Make sure you are using a higher heat since your hair is course. Make sure you have a good ceramic flat iron. Do hair in 1-2 inch sections. As far as a product, you can buy oleplex from Costco.com (a salon product you use once every one to two weeks) It's expensive, but makes hair softer. I'm not that great with a curling iron, but you could watch YouTube videos. You can wash your hair with conditioner. I wash my hair, go one or two days, then wash with just conditioner, go two days, then back to shampoo.

    • kay saylor

      My hair is very similar to yours. Not completely curly, always half curl half wave and always frizzy. I second the alternating just conditioner with shampoo/conditioner described above. I also keep a spray bottle with mixture of mostly water with a little conditioner. I use this on days I don't wash or condition to revive the curl while preventing frizz.

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