itchy in my skin

During the night it poured rain. This morning the rain turned to sleet, snapping sharply against the darkened windows. Then it switched to snow, for more variety. Now it’s just flurries, but with the sun shining warmly on the whole soppy mess.

Like the weather, I’m off-kilter. Not sad or blue or irritable, but not settled and contented, either. I feel itchy in my skin. I want to write but it requires too much focus. I blame my lack of focus on the children and housework, but that’s not exactly fair. I make time for what’s important. I could have gotten up at five to write if I really wanted to.

This afternoon I was sitting at my desk when the phone rang. It was a girlfriend calling the Jennifer Knows Everything About Parenting Teenagers (Ha-Ha) Hotline. We talked about wily, overconfident boys and their astounding ability to foist responsibility on anyone but themselves, and I passed her a virtual needle and said, Burst his damn bubble (but not in those exact words), and then I said, “Hey, I gotta go for a minute—can I call you right back?” because the melting snow was sparkling and the snow was falling and I just had to take some pictures.

The deck furniture is scattered all over the porch. Every time I look out the window, I feel like I’m seeing an echo of my mind. Haphazard. Cluttered. Idle.

There won’t be a quotidian today. Supper will be soup and crackers, and it will be at bedtime instead of a decent hour because of my daughter’s choir rehearsal. I’ll probably knit when I should be taking notes for my next post, or maybe I’ll read a magazine instead of the book that I already started. I’ll let the fire go out and then shiver because it’s cold. I’ll stress about the busy weekend and wish for things I can’t have and make chocolate cookies even though a grapefruit is all the snack I need.

Is it possible to be traumatized by the weather?

This was the thought that crossed my mind the other day. I think the answer might be yes. I enjoy winter, but only up to a point. After that point (January 31, perhaps?) the bitter temps, the snow and ice, the mud, and the short days start to feel less like sweet love pats and more like harassment. I am worn down and battered. One more soggy mitten and I’ll scream.

Our neighbors’ sheep are starting to lamb. Lambs. Now there’s a cheerful thought. Lambs mean Easter and daffodils, yellow-green grass and seedlings, asparagus and chocolate peanut butter eggs, and bare feet and warm dirt.

Not just yet, I know, but soon.

‘Tis lambing season. We’re going to make it.


  • Judi

    I am paralyzed by the weather. I have to really make myself be motivated. We are bracing for yet another storm here in Indiana . . . my husband predicts the last big storm of the season. I hope he is right! It has been so cold that I haven't been out on a walk for all of January! I'd say that is pretty bad!

    I read a friend's FB status that said "February is here and that means it will be warming up soon. Only draw back is each day that goes by is another day gone. This weather makes it a little difficult to live life to the fullest." Exactly my feelings!

    • katie

      I used up all my "last big storm of the season" wishes last year when the winter persisted and persisted. Definitely not anywhere near that declaration here in WV yet. On the bright side, we are finally adjusting some to the cold temps. The kids think 30 degrees is "warm" and anything above 5 or so feels pretty reasonable to me now. To some extent that acclimation is making the winter easier for us as it goes along.

  • Anonymous

    Perhaps it's because you were in a different climate last year at this time? And maybe it's because you've had it with the cold! 🙂 I hope the soup last night warmed your insides and helped scratch the itch! (from one of the other Jennifer's)

  • Tricia @ The Domestic Fringe

    I feel the same way, only I called it "antsy" the other day. I'm having a hard time focusing too. I'm not depressed, just antsy. And, I totally think it's possible to be traumatized by the weather.

    Beautiful pictures! Happy Monday to you and your family. Hope sunny skies are in your near future.

  • Rebecca

    Oh, do I ever hear you. We're neck deep in snow (well, almost) and I'm feeling put upon at an inappropriately personal level. These days my teen-age son and I are spending a whole lot of time staring at each other through slitty eyes with respective arms crossed over our respective chests. Would you consider taking the JKEAPT online?

  • Suburban Correspondent

    Strangely, I'm not tired of it yet. I like the hunkering-down feeling of a cold, almost-snowy winter – so cozy and productive home-wise. On the other hand, by the end of February, I will be chomping at the bit for spring to begin.

    Studying Spanish with DuoLingo – it might be good for review for your kids, and it's free!

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