Like I already said, I had no fancy gift requests for my birthday. Chocolate, I asked for, and a zester (he got the wrong one), and Tedโs book. Ted is a guy that goes to our church. Heโs an actor, and now an author. Heโs what you might call A Mennonite Celebrity.

My husband and I pretty much immediately started fighting over the book. Iโd come downstairs in the evening after tucking the kids into bed and there heโd be, sitting in the easy chair, reading.
โHey!โ Iโd squawk. โI was going to read that.โ
โToo bad. I have it now.โ
โYou canโt do that! Itโs my book!โ
โNo, I bought it, so itโs mine.โ
โYou gave it to me!โ
โSo what. Itโs still my book and Iโm reading it.โ
The book has inspired other interesting conversations. Like the other night at the dinner table when I said, โYou know the book that Ted wrote? Well, he had an older brother that he really looked up to. In fact, he used toโโ
โHe used to warm up the bed for his brother!โ my husband interrupted. (Why does he know this? Because heโs been stealing the book from me.)
โI should ask him if heโd warm up the bed for me. Oh Teddy,โ I cooed syrupily, โwill you pretty please come warm up my bed for me?โ
My husband snorted.
โReally! I should send him an email. Heโd get the joke, I bet.โ
Based on the contents of the book, I imagine that Ted will soon be getting lots of the following from his readers: underwear, pleas for his bed-warming services, and bags of Purina dog food (we have an empty one in the basement).
(You wonโt understand this if you havenโt read the book.)
(Read the book.)
Several weeks ago, my husband, older daughter, and I went to the dress rehearsal of his latest showโthe one that parallels the book. Halfway into the show, when Ted started talking about Leeโs suicide, my daughter, her eyes big, turned to me and whispered, โHowโd he kill himself? With a sword?โ
โNo!” Good grief! A sword? “Weโll talk about it later,โ
I was surprised that she didnโt remember Leeโs death. She wouldโve been about six, and we talked about it a lot back then. I guess all that slipped by her.
When we had the follow-up conversation, she again asked how he killed himself. I was hoping sheโd drop that questionโtalking about suicide with kids feels wrong, like I’m planting dark ideas in fresh, young minds. But I know that a childโs imagination can be worse than the truth (i.e. the sword). So I told her, briefly and frankly, what happened.
A few days ago I had a first time appointment at a new doctorโs office. My daughter went with me and listened as I answered the screening questions. She heard me answer โyesโ to the depression question, so I wasnโt surprised when she later asked, โWhat do you mean you were ‘depressed,’ Mom?โ
She said โdepressedโ carefully, formally, hesitantly, as though it were something explosive. As though she wanted terribly much to know what I’d say and yet was afraid, all at the same time.
I talked a little about serotonin levels and emotional exhaustion.
โWhat does depression feel like?โ she wanted to know.
I told her, and then, sensing that she was equating all depression with suicide, I rushed to clarify, โBut my depression was nothing like Leeโs. I wasnโt suicidal. Lots of people get depressed, and itโs normal to feel down sometimes. What Lee had was very different. Much, much more serious.โ
She picked the conversation up at bedtime that night. โWill I have depression, too?โ she asked, her voice light, but strained. โBecause you had it?โ
My heart twisted up tight. โOh I donโt know,โ I said. โI hope not. But you might, I guess. Itโs normal to go through down times. But if you feel bad like that, you tell me, okay? Thereโs ways to get help.โ
So anyway, all this because of Tedโs book (and show).
Oh dear. I’m afraid Iโve gone and made the book sound all sorts of morose. Itโs not! Itโs made me laugh out loud on several occasions, and once in a doctorโs office.
My favorite line so far, the one I laughed at in the doc’s office:
Sometimes the women who only wore coverings for church would simply pin them to the ceiling of the car after church, and there the coverings would wait until the next time, hovering like halos of perceived virtue.
Isn’t that perfect?
Just as I finished (the first draft of) this post, my older son walked into my bedroom, Tedโs book in hand.
โThis is a good book,โ he said, grinning broadly as he plopped it down on the bedstand beside me. โI have to get it out of my room so I wonโt keep reading it.โ (Not because we won’t let him read it, but because he was supposed to go to sleep.)
PS. Full disclosure: Ted did not ask me to write about his book. He probably doesnโt even know I have a blog.
PPS. When I went to take the pictures of the book this morning, my older daughter came over to watch me.

She started paging through the book, in search of the underwear picture. It was one of her favorite parts of the play.

And then she started reading it. The girl who struggles to readโshe read straight through one whole paragraph! She was absolutely beaming.
Off and on, all morning long, she’s been following me around with the book, sounding out the dialogue between Joseph and Nigel, Peter and Andrew, etc. She claims it’s the font that helps her read. That, and the fact that she’s seen it acted out. I think she’s right on both counts.

Of course, she stumbles a lot. I don’t think reading will come easy to her for a long time yet. But you know what? That matters not one wit because she is having fun. She is reading.
PPPS. Confession: I have yet to finish the book. I was afraid I might be jumping the gun, writing about the book when I haven’t even gotten to the end. Because, you know, um…what if it’s a dud? But I’ve seen the play (thought-provoking, honest, and funny), I’ve read the reviews (smashing), and by now I’ve gotten a good feel for how Ted writes (extremely well). It’s an excellent book, and I’m saving and savoring it like a box of expensive chocolates. (The kind I didn’t get for my birthday.)
This same time, years previous: Sunday cozy, at least I tried, the donut party, part one, pulled braised beef, serious parenting
9 Comments
the domestic fringe
Ok. Now I want to read the book.
~FringeGirl
Anonymous
Would you start a regular book review series? I'm curious whether this book is any good:
http://store.mennomedia.org/Making-Friends-among-the-Taliban-P1296.aspx
-Z
jodi
Firstly, I love reading your blog. Secondly, now I must get this book. ๐
Mama Pea
So you've really forgotten totally about the expensive chocolates you didn't get for your birthday, right? Put the whole thing behind you, right? Yep. That's what I thought. ;o}
P.S. Must be a pretty special book to have made such an impression on just about the whole family. That's rare.
Lori
I think I need to find this book! Thanks for the recommendation
Anonymous
Sounds like I might need to give my husband this book before Christmas…. so I can read it! (It's currently in hiding at my parent's house).
sk
Such a good post.
melodie
I have an extra copy I can bring down when I come see about some basil.
Kate
Want.