Party panic

A minor multitude of ten-year-old boys will descend upon my house tomorrow. They will run around with sticks and yell and knock each other over. (Don’t worry, we’ll try our best to keep them far away from the more dangerous farm implements.)

They will camp out and have a bonfire and eat lots of hotdogs and candy.

They will stay for 17 hours. It’s supposed to rain the entire time.

They will sleep outside in the fort, no matter what.

I’m in denial about the rain.

I’m also in flat-out party panic mode.

I’ve been coaching Mr. Handsome on his part in this affair: You will be with the boys the entire time. You will play with them, sleep with them, eat with them, talk to them. You will not sit down once. Do you hear?

As for me? I will be hiding in the house with the girls (they are each having a little girlfriend over to keep them company during the entire pubescent testosterone hoopla) and The Baby Nickel. I will pat out the burgers and put candles on the cake (another one!) and stand guard at the door so that no errant muddy boy can sneak inside. Not even for a minute. Not even to pee.

Well, I might let them pee.

I’ll make buttermilk pancakes for breakfast, too.

Yo-Yo better love this party cause I don’t think I’ll be able to pull off another one for a very, very, very long time.

About One Year Ago: Yo-Yo’s birth story.


  • It's me ...Mavis

    Forget about party games…lock the doors lady!

    Step #1 Buy a portable $30 camp toilet….or a 5 gallon bucket… they are boys…they CAN pee outside…the bucket is for …well you know…

    Step #2 When Mr. Handsome is not looking hide his house keys….

    Step #3 Pull down the shades/curtains and hide with the girls inside the locked/boy proofed house….

    Step #4 Place all "boy food" in a cooler out on the porch….

    Step #5 Give one of them a cell phone in case of an emergency….

    This way… there should be NO REASON for any of them to come inside the house…because if you let one in to pee…they will all want to come in to pee…then they will be cold…and hungry…and wet… most likely at the most unopportune time…say 2am.

    Good luck….may the force be with you 🙂

  • Anonymous

    hmmm, good luck.

    Maybe play 'hide the people' (one person hides a number of small objects in a room and the others then find them)(we always used the small FisherPrice people, hence the name)


    make crazy hats out of whatever odds and ends you have around

    make soft pretzels – the boys would be good at forming them

    give them each a certain set of objects and see who can build the highest tower

    interspersed with yelling contests off the porch then…

    Inside practise whispering!


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