One of the adult Sunday school classes at our church has been doing a series on science and faith in which different scientists, or science-related professionals (curiously enough, all men so far), share about the intersection of their work and faith.

 A couple Sundays ago, my father took his turn, talking about when he was fired from his science teaching job at a private Mennonite school for presenting the ideas of evolution. Here, this is him, holding forth.

Then last Sunday, a bushy-bearded EMU professor took his turn and, in the middle of his science-y tirade, he off-handedly mentioned a book. “Whenever I flip through it to look something up for a student, I end up rereading the whole book,” he said.

I ordered it that very afternoon.

“Guess what!” I said to my older daughter who was sitting, unawares and defenseless, in the easy chair by the wood stove. “I just ordered a book for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Her mind was elsewhere. “What is it?”

“DR. TATIANA’S SEX ADVICE TO ALL CREATION!”

That got her attention.

“IT’S ALL ABOUT SEX AND IT’S GOING TO BE AMAZING.” 

“Uh….Mom?” She was regarding me warily.

“You’re going to have to read it,” I continued. “Or wait! Even better, I’ll make you read it out loud to me.”

“I will not!”

“Oh, hon,” I gushed. “This is going to be so much fun. Just you wait.”

The book arrived a couple days ago.

I tried to get my daughter to hold it for a photo shoot. She refused, and I hooted wildly at her prudish indignation. (Though on second thought, maybe she was refusing because she was in the shower at the time?)

My son’s response was slightly different. This morning when I was running through his list of chores, I concluded with, “And I want you to read at least one chapter of the sex book.”

“No problem there,” he chirruped.

It’s the type of book that gets a lot of mileage. Last night we had friends over for a solstice party (just supper really, but everything is more fun if you call it a party) and as we sat around the table munching Christmas cookies and sipping tea, I suddenly remembered the book. Our friends hadn’t heard about it, so as they flipped through the pages, I explained: It’s a sex advice column for all of creation. All these different animals—insects, whatever—write in about their sex problems and the author answers them. I am learning so much!

“Like what?” our friend asked.

“Well….” I hesitated. Did he really want to know? But he was looking at me, waiting patiently, so I blurted, “Like, all about the different penises. Some have horns and spikes!”

And then I was off, expounding upon the evolutionary tactics for different genders, exploding honeybees, and plunger-like penises. The book makes for entertaining conversation, that’s for sure, one that is wonderfully enhanced if you have a captive audience of slightly appalled teenagers.*

Speaking of teens, this book would make a great Valentine’s Day gift for one, yes? Or, in the case of no teens, it would make a splendid addition to the typical flowers/mountains/covered bridges coffee-table décor. If conversation lags, just point to the cover and say, “What do you think that’s a picture of?” (I thought it was a twisted-around scorpion at first. “You’re kidding me,” my husband said. “It’s two beetles mating. Obviously.”)

Also, whenever the kids get in yet another fight, this book is the perfect weapon. Simply pick it up and start reading at random. “In humans, for example, sperm start their odyssey in the acidic environment of the vagina. But acid is lethal to sperm (which is why strategically placed lemon sliced make a good, if rudimentary contraceptive)….” (pg. 24). The children will run screaming from the room, or they will unite in their efforts to shut you up. (I haven’t tried this yet, but I have every intention of doing so.)

*I’m picking on the kids. First, they were not a captive audience. Second, they were engaged and interested, and they comported themselves with enormous maturity.

This same time, years previous: the quotidian (12.21.15), the quotidian (12.22.14), self care, flat, Christmas pretty, and homemade marshmallows.

It’s that time again, friends! Here’s what I’ve been reading in 2016: some nonfiction, a bunch of memoirs, some novels, a few plays, and a bit of Young Adult. Not too shabby, me thinks.

*Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett. (Actually read this at the end of 2015 but forgot to record it.) Slow and beautiful, hauntingly sad.

*Black Chalk, by Christopher J. Yates. Can’t remember it—Oh, wait! Yes, I can! A dark thriller that I thought so-so.

*The Art of Memoir, by Mary Karr. Some good (and comforting) writing nuggets (like, it took her months to write the first chapter of her memoir and find her voice), but I still prefer Bird by Bird.

*Hold Still: A Memoir with Photographs, by Sally Mann. I’m fascinated by her perspective on life, and her work: raw and evocative.

*Fates and Furies, by Lauren Groff. I don’t remember it, but my notes say: Not credible but interesting.

*All the Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr. Good, but I wasn’t head over heels like everyone else.

*The Birchbark House, by Louise Erdich. Young adult (for book club). An okay, easy read.

*When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi. I appreciated the healthy perspective towards death, but I enjoyed his wife’s writing better than his.

*Tips: Ideas for Actors and Tips II: More Ideas for Actors, by Jon Jory. Extremely helpful. I only wished that I could’ve read this books before Outside Mullingar, not after.

*A Thousand Naked Strangers: A Paramedic’s Wild Ride to the Edge and Back, by Keven Hazzard. A fast, entertaining read. Informative, too, for a mother of an EMT.

*Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee. I read this play in two sittings. It left me gasping for air.

*Housekeeping, by Marilynne Robinson. (For book club.) Absolutely abhorred it, which is funny because so many respected friends loved it.

*On Acting: A Handbook for Today’s Unique American Actor, by Steven Breese. Excellent.

*A Streetcar Named Desire, by Tennessee Williams. My first time reading the play; I enjoyed it. 

*Seven Brief Lessons on Physics, by Carlo Rovelli. I didn’t understand most of it…but I read it!

*Small Blessings, by Martha Woodroof. (Name drop: the author is in one of my writing groups!) Likeable characters and enjoyable read. The book was set in a town not far from here, and I got a kick out of reading about familiar places within a novel.

*Infidel, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Challenging and paradigm shifting, I wish I could’ve read this one with my book club because it requires processing. I chewed over the ideas for months.

*The Forest for the Trees: An Editor’s Advice to Writers, by Betsy Lerner. Informative.

*Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, by Mildred D. Taylor. Required reading for my kids, so I read it, too. So, so good.

*The Silver Star, by Jeannette Walls. Can’t remember it.

*Lab Girl, by Hope Jahren. Excellent (though I skimmed some of the science parts). Gained new insight into bi-polar disease. Also, it made me want to plant an oak tree.

*A Story Lately Told, by Anjelica Huston. Dull and souless, but I was intrigued to learn Angelica is one of the actors in Transparent (which I loved).

*Hungry Heart, by Jennifer Weiner. The beginning was interesting, but after a bit it felt long-winded and whiny. By the end I was skimming whole pages.

*The Babylon Line, by Richard Greenberg. A play. Okay, but just that.

*Accelerando, by Lisa Loomer. A play. Complicated and slightly bizarre.

*Jesus Land: A Memoir, by Julia Scheeres. Powerful, dark, incredible. I felt like I was reading a nightmare; had to hurry through so I could end it and get on with my life. Highly recommend (but only if you’re emotionally stable, and even then, proceed with caution).

Up next: In the Sanctuary of Outcasts, by Neil White and then I’m open to (desperate for) recommendations. Fire away!

PS. 2015 book list and 2014 book list.

PPS. Books I’ve read to the kids for our bedtime read-alouds include Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, by Robert C. O’Brien, A Little Princess and The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett, More Stories from Grandma’s Attic, by Arleta Richardson, and we’re right now finishing up A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith. Have you discovered any new read-alouds this year (for ages 10-15)?

This same time, years previous: toasty oatmeal muffins.

This same time, years previous: brightening the dark, supper reading, on my to-do list, fa-la-la-la-la, how to have a dunging-out date, the quotidian (12.19.11), chocolate-dipped candied orange rinds, scholarly stuff, and walnut balls (and I’m not even being dirty).