• the quotidian (7.17.17)

    Quotidian: daily, usual or customary; 
    everyday; ordinary; commonplace



    Grill-ready.

    Compost bouquet.

    Chard mountain: and then I steamed it down to nothing.
    When writers gather.

    Chocolate bread: a baking experiment of his very own. 
    We’re hooked.

    Maintaining his (much-neglected) corn patch.

    Washing wool = hours of work.

    Reading glasses (my old ones): yet another twist in the downhill spiral to the grave.

    Riverside: the moms’ spot.
    (There was a secret stash of Oreos, too.)

    Cotton candy sky.

    This same time, years previous: the quotidian (7.18.16), ouch, apricot pie, this new season, the quotidian (7.16.12), roasted beet salad with cumin and mint, Jeni’s best ever vanilla ice cream, pasta with roasted tomatoes and summer squash, counting chicks.

  • four weeks down, three to go

    It’s been a month since my older son flew off to South America. At first I thought about him frequently; my curiosity about his goings-on was intense. I still do think about him often (of course!), but the intensity is no longer present. The separation feels normal. Peaceful, almost. We’re here and he’s there. So be it.

    Still, whenever he sends an email, Skypes, or calls, we swarm the computer. Most of our contact is via Facebook. Here are a few snapshots of what he sends our way.

    June 23, while still traveling with the choir:
    Son: Ok, so the drinking age is 17 here and there is a special kind of Peruvian beer here. Are you ok if I have one? You know I don’t like alcohol. It would be for the experience.

    Me, what I thought: What the—??!! You’re thousands of miles away and we still have to parent you? Aren’t we supposed to be getting a break?
    Me, what I said: I don’t mind you trying a beer, but you should probably wait until the rest of the group leaves, since that’s probably against program policy and could get the leaders in trouble. And I’m not too keen on you drinking beer alone. So if you DO decide to get a beer, just taste a little and throw the rest out, okay? You don’t want your backpack to walk off while you’re having fun…

    June 26, the day the choir left:
    Son: Every time I think about the fact that almost everyone I know is almost 4,000 miles away, I get a tingly feeling of excitement and fear!!!! It’s AWESOME!

    Me: Two important things! 1. NEVER LEAVE YOUR BAGS UNATTENDED. If you’re staying in hostels and need to leave for a day, get a locker. And be wary of drunk travelers. You may need to sleep WITH your bag. And, 2. Get a haircut.
    Son: Thnx mum. I found one of the best hostels.
    Me: PS. The haircut: Someone may confuse you with an alpaca and cook you into a burger.

    A little later: 
    Me: How was your day?
    Son: You mustn’t get mad or worried about what I did. I am being perfectly safe and will continue to be.
    Me: What’s THAT supposed to mean?
    Son:

    Son: sly smile
    Me, what I thought: !!!!!!!, and No. Just NO.
    Me, what I said: Papa’s laughing. DID YOU WEAR A HELMET???

    And then he went on to tell us how he almost crashed into a cop and the cop yelled at him, and then his tail light fell off and a bus ran over it.

    He spent nearly two weeks in the Amazon (on his way there, he messaged us from the bus: I CAN SEE THE FLIPPING JUNGLE!!!!!) living with some people who are building a farm. He planted watermelons (and ate an entire one for a snack one day) and went to church services and played cards with the kids, and the last night there he made homemade pizzas for twenty-one people. (I know that last bit because I fielded a ton of last-minute cooking questions.)

    Earlier this week, he left the farm and began the truly solo backpacking leg of his trip: three weeks of winging it. I think about him more (heightened anxiety, perhaps?), but he’ll be fine, I’m (pretty) sure. There’s not much I can do from here anyway.

    He’s having a good time, but it’s a solitary venture, traveling alone. Far removed from everything familiar, the isolation can be piercing. We warned him of this ahead of time, so he knew to be prepared. But preparing for it is one thing, going through it is another. He’s super (and genuinely) upbeat, but he misses us, too. Us and food, mostly. Occasionally I get requests for food he wants upon his return, like this one: 2 one day old apple pies. Some of that cheese dip. A big glass of real countryside water. Hamburgers with relish and potato chips. And a massive bowl of granola and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal with whole milk.

    Returning home might be hard, too. A couple weeks ago I realized that we never properly prepared him for reentry—often the hardest part of international travel—so I shot him an email:

    Returning home after a trip can be difficult for a number of reasons: no one understand what you’ve done, and there is a disconnect. This is normal! 

    Some things to be aware of (and that will hopefully help you make the adjustment):  

    1. No one will really care about your adventures. Aside from us, Grandmommy and Grandaddy, your aunt and uncle, most people won’t be that interested. Be prepared to give a 30-second summary (5 minutes, if you’re lucky). Anything longer and people will tune out. 

    2. Capitalize on talking to the people who really do have interest. You may want to make plans to spend an evening with your grandparents and then another evening with your aunt and uncle. By breaking it up, you’ll get more chances to tell your stories which will help you to process them. 

    3. Remember that people were living their lives, too, while you were gone. Your experiences are no more important than theirs. More exotic, perhaps, but not more important. Make sure you are intentional about hearing their stories and finding out what’s gone on in their lives. Be inquisitive and listen well. 

    End of sermon. 

    This weekend he’ll be busy floating on the reed islands of Lake Titicaca and spending one night in a five-star hotel. Then lots of bus travel and sand dunes and maybe beaches.

    He’s eager to get back to Cusco, though, where a Spanish-speaking family with four young children is ready to host him, should he need a place to go. I think the mom could use my help with the kids, he told me, and they’re doing a construction project, so I might be able to help with that, too.

    That kid—can’t stand being idle and needs to be needed. I totally get it.

    PS. It sure will be wonderful to see him again!

    This same time, years previous: zucchini fritters, the quotidian (7.14.14), Saturday nights, into the woods, zucchini pasta salad, in the pits, beet salad with caramelized onions and feta.

  • reflections from Orlando

    I spent most of last week in Orlando, being a delegate for our national Mennonite church’s convention.

    Confession: I don’t like conventions. There’s the dungeonesque nature of the whole place—artic air conditioning, high ceilings, no windows and dim lighting, miles of mottled carpeting, the food, when finally located, so wrapped in plastic that it’s positively mummified, and so on.

    Then there’s the emotional and social paradox: surrounded by thousands of people but alone. Convention might be paradise for pastors and academics who get to reconnect with friends from different colleges, seminaries, and churches, but since I’m neither a pastor nor an academic, I had a noticeable dearth of connections to make. Which was fine, truly, but also terribly boring.

     The extent I’ll go to care for my mental health: running in the Florida summer heat. 

    I hated floating, wafting from one air-conditioned room to another, not doing anything. But then on day three—finally!—meetings started, and from then on, I was fine.

    This year’s convention was polar opposite from the last one. Aside from one, four-hour delegate meeting in which we voted on an Israeli-Palestinian resolution (it passed with 97% affirmation, wheeee!), the rest of the time was devoted to the Future Church Summit, a church-wide brainstorming session. Along with the delegates, dozens of other people had been invited, including a fair number of youth through the Step-Up! program. For example, at my table, along with pastors (and the executive director himself), we had a high school student and two college students. Thanks to all the young people, the room had a different vibe, new voices, fresh voices, young people who cared. It was wonderful.

    In the opening worship service, the speaker set the tone for the whole convention. There are three stages to ministry, he said: presence, advocacy, and direction. Until we have been fully present, until we are willing to advocate for other people (even our enemies), only then can we provide direction. And if we can’t do those first two things, then we have no business even opening our mouths.

    And that, in a nutshell, was the thrust of the Future Church Summit. We were there to be present, to listen. Church leadership wasn’t going to tell us what to do or how to be. Through listening to each other, we got to collectively say how we wanted to be church together. How stunningly simple. How radical.

    All the ideas and issues we discussed—and there were a lot: prison reform, power redistribution, diversity, LGBTQ inclusion, climate change, voluntary service, doctrine of discovery, etc, etc.—were great, but it was the process, a process that allowed all voices to participate, even the ones that have been repeatedly silenced, that I found most inspiring.

    The Summit went like so:

    A Question 

    The leader would throw out a question and give directions for how we’d proceed.

    Silent Reflection 
    We’d spend several minutes in silence, jotting down our thoughts on index cards.

    Table Group Discussion 
    For 30-40 minutes, we’d discuss what we wrote down and then work together to find common themes.

    Idea Submission
    Each table had an Ipad and as we landed on ideas, the table-designated recorder (we also had table-designated leaders and time keepers) would type it up and hit send. A few words, or a sentence, and then send. Idea, send. Idea, send.

    Theme Team
    Up at the front, about 12 people clustered around a big table, busily reading and compiling the submissions. They’d often get well over a thousand submissions per question.

    Group Response 
    While the theme team continued to work, our leader led the entire group in about thirty minutes of either a spiral process (described in this book) or a Samoan circle, by inviting anyone who wanted to share to come to the front of the room while the rest of us watched on the big screens. Each person had two minutes (and a clock on the floor ticking down the seconds to help them stay focused) and then the next person would speak.

    Theme Team Response 
    A member from the team would present the findings from the last question.

    We repeated this process over and over, the questions growing ever outward, from the internal and personal towards the broader communiy and church, and finally culminating in the big, what-direction-do-we-take-as-a-church questions. The listening, the generation of ideas, the open stance all combined to create a mood of creativity and care. After the anguish of the last convention, this one was a breath of fresh air.

    Is it too good to be true? Maybe. Our group left early, so we missed the final gathering. Word on the street is that a number of people stood up and said the conservative voice hadn’t been heard—they didn’t feel that it was a safe place to share; perhaps, I wonder, because they were openly sharing space with the very people they wanted to exclude and didn’t feel at liberty to voice their opinions?—so at the last minute the brakes were applied, momentum arrested, and the convention ended on a sour note.

    But even wind of a last-minute scramble to rein in things doesn’t much dampen my mood. I mean, I am skeptical and wary—there are no rose-tinted glasses perched on this nose of mine. But for the first time, people in the margins were being given a voice. Listening was at the heart of our time together. So even though it’s going to be messy—has church ever not been messy?—change is happening. It’s going to happen. Hallelujah.

    Roomies! 
    (Photo credit: Alison Brookins)

    For the curious among you, more reading:
    A love letter to the scattered pink siblings, from Orlando.
    The Mennonite: Future Church Summit Sends Report to Delegates.
    Reflection on the Future Church Summit by Melissa Florer-Bixler.
    Am I not holy, too?
    Following Robert’s Rules in a culture of consensus: Reflections on Mennonite process as displayed at Orlando.

    This same time, years previous: in which a pit bull bites my butt, the quotidian (7.13.15), what my refrigerator told me, roasted carrot and beet salad with avocado, soft and chewy breadsticks, tempero.