Just saying that feels weird, and scary. I’ve always hated being filmed, so taking videos of myself and then posting them on the internet is the last thing I ever thought I’d do. But then I began to notice just how much I learn from and appreciate YouTube videos. I turn to home YouTubers for everything from cheesemaking to random skill-acquisition like cake decorating, cutting up a whole chicken, and instant pot usage to Scrivener and (of course) YouTube tutorials. My husband refers to Youtube for building and auto mechanics, and YouTube is my younger son’s go-to for arduino and computer programming tutorials.
And then I was like, hang on a sec. I know how to do (some) things and I love to talk to people and I don’t want to go anywhere. Maybe I should try YouTube?
It felt a little nuts — still does — but I plunged in, burying myself up to my eyeballs in iMovie and Snappa. I knocked out a few videos, learning how to use an iPhone for video (it has more than one camera!) and download video and make thumbnails as I went. It was surprising how quickly I grew accustomed to talking to a camera. Finally, I’m feel comfortable enough to share the videos.
Scratch that. I’m not comfortable at all. I’m so (embarrassingly) edgy and insecure and nervous that I have to give myself frequent pep talks. Get over yourself, Jennifer, I say. What’s the big deal? As long as you’re having fun, go for it.
So I am — going for it and having fun, all while trying to get over myself. (It’s complicated.)
What’s my end goal? I’m not sure. Mostly, I just want to talk about the random and/or obscure things that make me happy, like cheesemaking and cooking and Who Knows What All. Maybe, if I’m lucky, people will talk back and I’ll make friends and, in turn, learn things from them.
What I do know is that I’m no expert and my videos are far from perfect. But I’m okay with that — partly because I have to be (hello, zero-tech skills) and partly because Being Myself is the point. It’s all I really have to offer: Just me, sharing the things I love with whoever shows up. Could be super fun, or it could be tedious as hell.
Quotidian: daily, usual or customary; everyday; ordinary; commonplace
By these two girls, a four-course meal: 1) cream of tomato soup with crackers and cheeses, 2) salad with poppyseed dressing, 3) filet mignon, risotto, and roasted sweet and purple potatoes, and 4) raspberry cream puff pastries, biscotti, and coffee
16!
A mid-winter treat.
From a reader: making my day with a sampler of her favorites.
Stacking up.
Canine adoration.
Evolving sculpture.
After years of searching, and when his truck (aka The Loaded Diaper) was on its last leg: FINALLY.
When they gave me a room to myself, she decided to come with.
Meeting up with friends at Cho Dang Gol in Koreatown.
Anyone else have trouble with dry, rough feet? I’m not sure why mine are so awful. In the winter I wear socks all the time, and in the summer I usually wear shoes or flip-flops. But my feet are rough year round. My husband has similar habits and his feet are soft and silky. What gives? Is this a female-only problem?
Before the wedding, my mother came over, ordered me to sit, and gave me a foot treatment:
She literally shaved my feet, burning through multiple razors and only cutting me twice.
Anyway, the best foot treatment thus far is: Vaseline! Before going to bed, I rub a lima bean-sized glob of vaseline into my problem ares — the sides of my feet, especially the heel — and then put on a pair of socks. In the morning, my feet feel pleasantly plump and hydrated. There’s still poke-y rough skin (my mom just bought me this but I haven’t tried it yet) but over time, my feet get noticeably softer. In the morning, I remove the socks and save them for the next night — I usually get several wears out of a single pair.
Of course, the biggest problem is remembering to apply the vaseline in the first place, but when I do, it makes all the difference.
***
This (old) clip of Moira Rose, I mean Catherine O’Hara, receiving her Canadian Screen Award made my day.
Right now I’m watching the show — for the third time? the fifth? — with my younger son. Ew, David.
I hesitated to read it — a sexual assult victim’s story doesn’t sound like the most uplifting material for the dead of winter — but I decided hers was a perspective I needed to spend time with. In the beginning, I avoided reading it right before bed because I worried it would give me bad dreams, but once I got through the initial trauma (which did not give me secondary trauma, thankfully) and into the story, I’d read late (for me) into the night. It’s a page-turner, for sure, but minus any sensationalism and with a hefty dose of maturity, perspective, integrity, and grace. Reading, I found myself being jolted repeatedly as I realized the myriad ways in which our misogynistic and patriarchal society has distorted my view of sexual harrassment and abuse. Highly, highly, highly recommend, for men and women alike. It’s so good I purchased a copy so the rest of the family can cycle through it — right now, it’s my husband’s turn.
***
For months, I’ve been after my husband (in a mostly vague way) to make my kitchen a little more user friendly. You know, hooks and stuff. And I wanted a stainless steel shelf to go on the wall behind the stove because I was sick of the little jar of toothpicks inching forward and then crashing to the stove top below. That area had dead space and it could be soooo usable, I thought.
And then a few weeks back, he hauled in a strip of stainless steel that he’d gleaned from a job and BOOM. I had my shelf.
It’s even better than I imagined. Nothing wobbles or moves, and it’s deeper than the top edge of the stove so it can hold bigger things.
And it was free!
***
Pro-tip for better cold-weather cardio: underdress.
On this particular morning, my easy little walk turned into a mad dash for survival.
***
Last weekend we watched Summer of Soul (Hulu) for our family movie. I thought it might be a little dry, but no.
A number of times I noticed I was leaning forward in my seat, getting as close to the screen as possible so I could study every little aspect and catch all the words. And it was exciting to hear familiar songs and be like, “Oh! That’s who sings that song.”
***
Now that my book is written (only the first full draft, y’all — calm down), I’m ready to plunge into the mind-boggling swirl that is Structural Revisions. Google Docs is great, and it’d been what I’ve used up until now, but I’ve found that once a doc gets yay big, it becomes unwieldy and I start feeling claustrophobic.
None of my close writer advisors (i.e. my brother, aka my personal Tech Support Service) use it or even know much about it, so I knew I was going out on a limb when I downloaded the app (there’s a thirty-day free trial) and transferred everything over. I have spent the last two weeks* watching YouTube tutorials and teaching myself how to import from google docs, format, make an outline, and use the various tools. (*I’ve done other things, too.)
I’m incredibly proud of myself — I didn’t cry once — and I freaking LOVE the platform. (I’m buying it: 50-dollar one-time purchase feels like a steal and I can’t imagine writing without it now.) By forcing me to organize and restructure the book, I’m gaining some new, much-needed perspective and clarity. And the best part? I no longer feel like I’m drowning in a word tsunami, yay!
***
And finally, this.
Simply because it made me happy.
***
Have a great weekend, friends. And those of you up north in blizzard world (hello, daughter), stay warm! xo
