I’ve made these at least three times now.

We keep a box of them in the fridge. They’re wonderful. 

They’re not hard to make, but there are a couple steps that may feel intimidating: one) heating a sugar syrup to 280 degrees, and two) coating the bars with chocolate. Neither is difficult, but attention is required, as well as a smidge of time. 

after adding the baking soda and vanilla: this is called “honeycomb”

But you wanna know the solution to culinary intimidations? JUST DO IT. Make these bars a couple times in the same number of days and all your fears will be vanquished. You, too, will find yourself with a box of homemade chocolates stored in the back of the fridge, always at the ready for a packed-lunch dessert, a mid-Ultimate game pick-me-up, or a surprise little treat for the friend who stops by of a Tuesday afternoon for a walk. 

One more thing, and this is important: they’re better than butterfingers.

Brace yourself.

Butterfingers
Adapted from Joshua Weissman.

The original recipe‘s peanut butter filling is pretty dense and intense, so I added a cup of rice krispies for lift. We all agree the cereal improves the candy.

If you don’t want to mess with coating individual bars, just spread a cap of chocolate on top of the peanut butter fill. Though I gotta say, there’s something special about a candy bar that’s fully enrobed in chocolate….

I use these chocolate disks, either the dark or milk chocolate, depending on my mood. Need a scale? Try this one. It’s a workhorse.

415 grams creamy peanut butter
½ teaspoon (scant) salt
210 grams sugar
200 grams corn syrup
60 grams water
4 grams baking soda
4 grams vanilla
1 cup rice krispie cereal, optional
about a pound of milk or dark chocolate wafers, for coating
flaky salt for sprinkling

Measure the sugar, corn syrup, and water into a medium saucepan. Place it over high heat and cook until it reaches 280 degrees.

While the syrup is simmering, measure the peanut butter and salt into a large metal mixing bowl. When the syrup reaches about 240 degrees, place the bowl of peanut butter into a oven set to “warm” to soften.

Measure the baking soda and vanilla into a small bowl and set aside. Measure the rice krispies and set aside. Line a square glass pan with a strip of parchment and set aside.

When the syrup reaches 280 degrees, turn off the heat and stir in the baking soda and vanilla. The mixture will foam vigorously. Immediately pull the peanut butter from the oven and add the cereal and the syrup and stir briskly. The syrup will harden and form ropes as it cools, so don’t dillydally.

Pour the candy into the prepared pan and smooth it out into an even layer. Refrigerate for 3-6 hours, or until set.

Cut the candy into bars, or squares, whatever. Melt the chocolate and dip the bars into it, spooning the chocolate over the top and sides to evenly coat the candy. Remove excess chocolate. Place the bars over chopsticks to drip before transferring to parchment paper. While the tops are still wet, sprinkle them with flaky sea salt. Allow the bars to air dry and, once the candy is firmly set, trim off the excess chocolate with a paring knife. 

Store candy bars in the refrigerator. They’ll last as long as they last.

*most of these photos were taken by my younger son.

This same time, years previous: the coronavirus diaries: week 92, the quotidian (12.7.20), “take out the trash”, welcoming the stranger, the quotidian (12.7.15), winter quinoa salad.

Friends, I need your help.

Here’s the backstory. Nearly two years ago, I started a YouTube channel. Back then, I wasn’t exactly sure what the channel was going to be about, but I knew I wanted to find a way to take the experiences and skills I’ve acquired (cooking, parenting, acting, writing, preserving food, cheesemaking, etc) and monetize them. I’d done a good bit of research, and teaching via YouTube seemed doable, practical, and fun. So I jumped right in, and, as per my usual approach to new things, learned by doing. 

I hated YouTube at first. Despised it, really. The learning curve was wicked steep and the work so tedious, draining, and isolating that I wasn’t at all sure I’d stick with it. In fact, if I’d known how hard it was going to be, I probably never would’ve started it in the first place. But I’m stubborn, and once I zeroed in on cheesemaking, things began to crystallize. Slowly I became more comfortable with the editing software and filming hardware, and the channel began to grow — as I was told it would if I did All The Things, which I have mostly done.

This past weekend, I consulted with a friend of my brother’s who is leagues beyond me in this field (though to even say we’re in the same field is hilarious; I’m not even on the same planet as him). The good news is, Mr. Consultant Man said I have the solid grasp of the subject matter, as well as the personality and natural intuition for making videos, but I’m crap at marketing and branding. I already knew that, but he didn’t have any patience for my insecurities and I’ll-just-cobble-this-together approach. If I want to turn this into an actual job, he said, I’d have to get serious, and the first step to getting serious is to get a freaking brand name already.

Why is a name — a brand — so important? Because, he explained, I need to appear established, trustworthy, and official if I’m going to win over subscribers and affiliates, and make a name for myself in the cheesemaking world. Also, I need to think about the future and who might buy me out (?!?!), though by that point in the conversation my brain was exploding so I’m ignoring that one for now.

Up until now I’ve just used Jennifer Murch as my channel name because it’s the name of my blog, because I didn’t know what I was going to be doing when I started the channel, because I don’t want to pigeonhole myself, and because I’m hopeless at naming things. (It’s a miracle I managed to name four humans.)

So here’s where you come in. Will y’all pretty please help me find a name? Many brains are better than one stuck brain, right? And also, it occured to me a couple days ago that you, in some ways, might actually be able to see me more clearly that I can see myself. I’m in the thick of the muddle, but you’re on the outside looking in.

To get you started, here are a few things to consider:

• The name should look equally good on a bottle of mead, a bag of granola, a cheese, a cookbook, and (this one is pushing it) a homeschooling pamphlet. While the channel is about cheese right now, that may shift over time, or I may end up doing two things at once. On the other hand, maybe I should stop trying to keep my options open and just go fullsteam into cheesemaking? This is the big question.
• Some random words that describe how I feel about what I’m doing: creative, earthy, rebellious, playful, raw, chaotic, snappy. 
• Here are a few neutral and versatile names I like: Barefoot, The Golden Pony, Fever Tree, The Hungry Belly, Magpie, Bottomless. Numbers are a possibility, like Twelve51. Contradictions could be fun, such as The Sweet Cactus. If I was going strictly with cheese: my top two choices would be Freewheeling and MilkSlinger.
• What else should I be taking into consideration? What do you see that I don’t? Any marketing geniuses out there?

(I’ve been trying to think of role models. For example, YouTuber Nate Black uses his name for his channel, but he just changed his YouTube banner to the new title of “Radical Moment.” So maybe I can still use my name, but I just need to get a name/brand/title for the cheesemaking channel and stop worrying about all the other things I may want to do?)

So anyway, there you go. I need a name, hit me up. (Bonus points for logo ideas.)

This same time, years previous: Lil Peach: the bus life, the quotidian (12.6.21), my sweet beast, holding, iced ginger shortbread, my kids are weird.

I never finished telling you about the whole wisdom teeth ordeal…

Days 15 and 16, I stayed off the pain meds, determined to just get better already. Plus, I felt woozy on the drugs — headachy and tired and bleh — and I figured it was time for me to buck up. As though I had control, ha!

Day 16, my ear started hurting. I knew I’d be taking pain meds on Day 17 when I was going to play Ultimate come hell or high water, and began counting down the hours until I could take medicine again. And then my husband was like, This is stupid; take the meds. So I did.

Day 17, I played Ultimate. Also, the ear pain was getting worse.

Day 18, the ear pain was spreading to my chin, eyebrow, cheekbone. All my teeth on that side of my mouth felt tender, like they were riddled with cavities. I called the oral surgeon and left a message with the friendly receptionist. My main question: Was this increased pain normal? Had there been complications I didn’t know about? And no, I had no red gums, bleeding, swelling, fever, etc, etc. Everything else looked and felt good.

at work: a soft lunch

Day 19, the friendly receptionist called back. To summarize: The doctor said your surgery was quite difficult so your recovery will be longer than normal. The pain will migrate around your face as you heal. You can always come in if you’d like us to check it. Have you tried hot compresses? Their “I’m sorry but there’s nothing we can do” attitude was beginning to give me the distinct impression that they didn’t believe that I was in pain, or that they thought I was trying to get more drugs (which I was). 

That day I called my husband at work and told him I could no longer advocate for myself. A few minutes later my son (the ER nurse) called me. When I asked him if there were any other options beyond Oxycodone, he rattled off a huge list of medicines, as well as over-the-counter options and home remedies, which made me really feel like the oral surgeon was ignoring me. I decided I wasn’t going to drive an hour round trip and pay big bucks to have them look in my mouth and repeat that there was nothing they could do for me, so . . .

Day 20, I called my regular dentist. Might I come in and have someone look at the incisions just to confirm that everything is actually okay? I asked.

At the dentist’s office, they flatout said, “You should not be having pain. Something is wrong.” They took photos and asked me questions and consulted with each other. The dentist noted that one side of my face was ever-so-slightly warmer and more swollen, immediately called in a prescription for antibiotic, and when I teared up thanking her, she wrapped me in an enormous bear hug. There’s no charge for this one, she said.

med notes

The pain lessened dramatically over the next several days but it took another five days or so for me to go off pain meds completely. Exactly four weeks to the day of my surgery, I went running for the first time (the pain and stiffness was always worse in the morning), and now, nearly six weeks out, I’m almost one-hundred percent back to normal. 

All things considered, getting my wisdom teeth out wasn’t terrible. I never once gagged on blood or threw up. I ate just fine (mostly). My face hardly swelled at all, and I didn’t get dry socket. I continued to live and do things and function. (I made cheese on Day Two, for crying out loud.) But ongoing pain is distracting and exhausting, and the medicines, while necessary and absolutely wonderful, change how one feels, which only adds to the cycle, a cycle which seems to get increasingly vicious at every turn. To finally be on the other side, and to feel like myself once again, unmedicated and pain-free, is rather incredible.

The End
(for real this time)

This same time, years previous: whey ricotta, how we homeschool: Rebecca, Clymer and Kurtz, my sweet beast, the quotidian (12.4.17), the quotidian (12.5.16), oatmeal sandwich bread, in my kitchen: 6:44 p.m., cinnamon raisin bread, baked ziti.