life’s persistent question, answered

I’ve discovered the meaning of life!

Now before you start wondering if I’m a genius — no. A girlfriend sent me a video titled The Meaning of Life, I watched it, and now I know. 

The video is of brothers John and Hank Green having a conversation. John, who leans religious and theological, says the meaning of life is to be in relationship with people and pay attention — and we pay attention to the things that interest us.

Hank, who leans more sciencey, says that when complex systems interact with each other, they become more interesting. His example: an ant is interesting, but a colony of ants is more interesting. A cell is interesting, but a colony of cells is more interesting. A person is interesting, but the community they are a part of makes them more interesting. 

(Sidebar: Perhaps this explains why children leaving home creates such an emotional dip for the parents. For 20 years, my children broadened my community. I interacted with the world with and through my children — their interests, needs, and relationships. And then they moved out and my community shrank, which meant I am now less connected and therefore less interesting. Isn’t that interesting?) 

According to Hank, the things that arise from complexity — both the energy that creates that complexity and being part of that complexity — is what’s good about life and makes it meaningful.

Furthermore, people tend to equate “interesting” with “easy to pay attention to.” But ask yourself this: Who is the most interesting person you know?

If you’re like me, you’ll start running through a list of famously interesting people in your head, like Gandhi, Helen Keller, college professors, activists, etc. But here’s the twist: things become more interesting (i.e. better) when you look at them closely. So this means that the most interesting people to me — and to you, probably — are the people we’re closest with. 

So how does all this help when I’m in an existential spiral? 

Well, as John and Hank point out, the opposite of depression is not happiness — it’s “interested.” So when I’m struggling to find meaning, this means (ha) I need to look closer. Dig deeper. Engage more. Connect. Feel. 

Here’s an example. I often get down in the dumps about the self-inspired tedium I’m pushing myself through day in and day out (i.e. my work). I get simultaneously worn down by the drudgery and find myself despairing of the value. Why am I trying so hard? This is pointless. No one actually needs my work — or worse, me. Blah-blah-blah. 

But the fix is always the same: zoom in tight for some up-close concentrated work. Make a new cheese. Set up a photoshoot. Have a zoom call with a client. Most times, attending to the details distracts me long enough to reboot my spiraling brain, and sometimes, if I’m lucky, the work turns delightful and I get an honest-to-goodness dopamine hit. 

In other words, the more often I can dip beneath the surface of Just Existing and actually muck around in the intricacies (like I’m doing right now by writing this post), the richer my life.

That’s it.

In conclusion, John says that because life is worthy of attention, then subjectively speaking, that makes it meaningful. Hank takes it one step further. Since something is always better than nothing, then, objectively speaking, something — and then attending to that something by being connected and curious — is where the meaning’s found. 

This same time, years previous: 2024 garden stats and notes, all is well, the quotidian (12.21.20), rock on, mama!, ludicrous mashed potatoes, 2016 book list, the quotidian (12.21.15), on my to-do list, fa-la-la-la-la.