As part of my birthday festivities (of which included a surprise dessert party featuring five — FIVE! — cakes), the children presented me with a video of greetings from loads of friends and family. Which was lovely — I laughed (and cried) my way through it.
However, the reason I bring it up here isn’t because of my birthday, but rather because I want you to see my son and daughter-in-law’s contribution.
It has a little Easter egg in it, so watch it before reading the rest of the post.
Did you catch it?!
Now, to be clear, I’ve known the news for months now. My son told us way back in the early days. (Which about drove me mad. Not that there was a baby coming — that news launched me straight over the moon — but because they told me so dang early. Now I’d have that much longer to wait until I’d be able to hold the wee one, grumble-grumble.)
Also, we were (naturally) forbidden from sharing the news for weeks. HOW WAS I TO SURVIVE.
But the weeks ticked by. Bit by bit, they told people. (When they finally told their siblings, that was the biggest relief. I’d been so terrified that I’d accidentally say something, that I actually stopped mentioning my son and daughter-in-law around the other kids.)
On corn day, my daughter-in-law told the cousins. But she didn’t just tell them, oh no.
That morning when she’d arrived, she’d asked for a piece of bread to put in the oven, and then partway through husking, she sent the kids into the house on a scavenger hunt to find it.
My nephew was the one to find the hamburger bun. It took the kids a minute to figure it out — they weren’t familiar with the “bun in the oven” expression — but once they caught on, hoo-boy! Squeals and hugs and jumping up and down.
And then when they realized their parents didn’t yet know, they tore outside shouting the news.
The rest of the day, the kids brainstormed names for my husband and me. They made a list, polled family members, and tallied votes. That piece of paper now hangs on my fridge — but none of the names really click.
Which leads me to the main point of this post.
I’ll be a grandma, but I don’t want to be called grandma. So what to be called instead?
Here are my thoughts thus far:
- The name has to match us. It has to feel like us.
- I’m fine including our first names, or versions of them. In fact, this might be the most authentic, since our kids often call us by our names.
- I want the names to feel warm without being cutesy. (We’re not exactly cuddly folk . . . though there’s a good chance the grandbaby will experience a side of us not yet revealed.) Also, gruff names can be warm.
- The names may nod to our personalities but it definitely shouldn’t lock us into them.
This is where you come in. If you want to share, I’d love to know:
- What you call your grandparents.
- If you’ve got any unique and delightful grandparenty names tucked up your sleeve.
- If you’re a grandparent, what you’re called and/or wish you were called.
- Any tricks (or thought exercises) for determining a name.
We still got a few months to solve this riddle — and it’s not like the kid is going to come out speaking — but the sooner I can work it out, the better. (For my mental serentity, you know.)
On the other hand, our names don’t really matter, not even a little bit. The baby is going to arrive and we’re going to be head over heels and that is that.
But choosing a name gives me something to fixate on. Something to do while I wait.
‘Cause we all know how great I am at waiting…
This same time, years previous: party at the polls, wanna place bets?, three days of birthday, wedding buns, church, the quotidian (9.30.19), hey-hey, look who’s here!., welcome home to the circus, the myth of the hungry teen, pointless and chatty, 37.
10 Comments
Aili
Congratulations!!
As for names, my grands were Grandma and Grandpa First Name on one side, and Granny and Papa on the other. I only recently learned that Granny called HER favorite grandfather “Papa,” which is apparently how we got there, and I love that.
My dad and step mom are Grandma Robyn and Grandpa Walter (she wanted to be “Gramma Robba” but Petra unsurprisingly out an end to that as soon as she could talk). JC’s parents are Marmee (like from Little Women) and Poppy.
My stepdad is Grandpa Gary, and my mom is Grammy. HER mom is the Granny mentioned above and she (Granny) hated that my mom wanted to be Grammy, because it was confusing. By this point in her life, everyone under 30, from neighbors to the lady at the local deli, called her Granny. My mom made her go by GG, for “Great Granny,” which nobody was happy about. Which is all to say, take into account what the baby’s living great-grandparents are called, and be mindful. Although recycling a family grandparent name from someone who has passed might be sweet.
Too late for it to change anything, my mom meet someone whose grandson called both his grandmas “Honey [First Name].” I think it was Honey Lynn and Honey Janet. Which is freaking adorable.
Regardless of where you end up, I know you are going to be awesome grandparents!
DB Stewart
Such a fantastic rap honouring you and your birthday! The Easter egg too! Cried a bit.
Congratulations! Our fifth grandbaby is due in December.
My wife chose Nannie, her favourite grandma’s moniker; I chose Pops, short for grandpops. Their other grandparents are called Grandma & Grandpa but our SIL called his grandma, Grammy. Our son’s father-in-law’s family is Portuguese, so he’s called Avo. All special.
MAC
Happy happy birthday and congratulations! This reminds me of a story I read years ago in the WaPo or Guardian. A rather elegant grandmother was determined to be called a version of “grandma” in French by the new grandbabies. She worked very hard at it. But toddlers being toddlers, they of course fashioned their own name for her.
I believe it was “Splat.”
Congrats again! So exciting!
Melinda Armentrout
My grandparents were Granny, Grandma, and Grandaddy. I am Minnie and Mimi to my grands. My husbund wanted Grandaddy while my son’s father in law prefers Pops. My mom is NanNan (Nancy) and Pap. “Adopted Grandmothers” are Mom Maxine and GG Angie.
Have fun with it! Sometimes it’s the kids who in the end choose your name regardless of what you pick.
melodiemillerdavis
Awesome! And the video is so “Murch” … I just go with grandma. My sister-in-law puts up with 4-5 different names the grands have chosen to call her. I can’t name them all. Good luck figuring it out. Sorry I’m not help. But best wishes in this journey, so fun and you have them nearby!
Becky R.
It will come to you and to your kids. Congratulations to everyone! I loved the video.
katie
oh fun! We had the first grandchild in the same sized family so it was totally a conversation as well — a great thing to consider during this latent period of waiting! Then my siblings kids chose different names for my grandparents so… it’s a little confusing, but we make it work. We ended up pulling the name Baba (from the book, “The Mitten”) and Papa (because they sounded good together). Also wondering about using the name Jenny (or Jen) but with a Y sound in place of the J. For some reason, i feel like that would be easier for small kids and kinda a nice riff on your name for a new generation (yeneration?). I also like the name Grams. Like, me and my Grams went bowling! Hey Grams, how are ya?!?
Andrea
I don’t have any real suggestions except to say that when I was expecting my first, neither my mom nor my MIL were willing to relinquish the title of “Grandma”. The precocious baby then referred to my MIL as “Grandma” and my mom as “Other Grandma” (seen less often). It continues today…16 years of a sort of Thing 1 and Thing 2 situation…beware! And CONGRATS!
Judy L
How exciting!
My cousin’s name is Anna, and her grandchildren call her Granna.
Marie Nicholson-Hutt
Happy birthday! Congratulations! Wow. My parents didn’t want to be called like we called ours (Grandma and Grandpa Last Name). So, they have Nana and Papa. My kids had Pakistani grandparents on the other side, so it’s Dadee, Dada for them. And my ex called his grandma Amee-Jee. (Which is untraditional- another meaning of mom.) I think you guys have a lot of connection to the Spanish language so maybe one of those? Like Abuelita? Lol. Congratulations again. Love their birthday video, too.