As part of my birthday festivities (of which included a surprise dessert party featuring five — FIVE! — cakes), the children presented me with a video of greetings from loads of friends and family. Which was lovely — I laughed (and cried) my way through it.
However, the reason I bring it up here isn’t because of my birthday, but rather because I want you to see my son and daughter-in-law’s contribution.
It has a little Easter egg in it, so watch it before reading the rest of the post.
Did you catch it?!
Now, to be clear, I’ve known the news for months now. My son told us way back in the early days. (Which about drove me mad. Not that there was a baby coming — that news launched me straight over the moon — but because they told me so dang early. Now I’d have that much longer to wait until I’d be able to hold the wee one, grumble-grumble.)
Also, we were (naturally) forbidden from sharing the news for weeks. HOW WAS I TO SURVIVE.
But the weeks ticked by. Bit by bit, they told people. (When they finally told their siblings, that was the biggest relief. I’d been so terrified that I’d accidentally say something, that I actually stopped mentioning my son and daughter-in-law around the other kids.)
On corn day, my daughter-in-law told the cousins. But she didn’t just tell them, oh no.
That morning when she’d arrived, she’d asked for a piece of bread to put in the oven, and then partway through husking, she sent the kids into the house on a scavenger hunt to find it.
My nephew was the one to find the hamburger bun. It took the kids a minute to figure it out — they weren’t familiar with the “bun in the oven” expression — but once they caught on, hoo-boy! Squeals and hugs and jumping up and down.
And then when they realized their parents didn’t yet know, they tore outside shouting the news.
The rest of the day, the kids brainstormed names for my husband and me. They made a list, polled family members, and tallied votes. That piece of paper now hangs on my fridge — but none of the names really click.
Which leads me to the main point of this post.
I’ll be a grandma, but I don’t want to be called grandma. So what to be called instead?
Here are my thoughts thus far:
- The name has to match us. It has to feel like us.
- I’m fine including our first names, or versions of them. In fact, this might be the most authentic, since our kids often call us by our names.
- I want the names to feel warm without being cutesy. (We’re not exactly cuddly folk . . . though there’s a good chance the grandbaby will experience a side of us not yet revealed.) Also, gruff names can be warm.
- The names may nod to our personalities but it definitely shouldn’t lock us into them.
This is where you come in. If you want to share, I’d love to know:
- What you call your grandparents.
- If you’ve got any unique and delightful grandparenty names tucked up your sleeve.
- If you’re a grandparent, what you’re called and/or wish you were called.
- Any tricks (or thought exercises) for determining a name.
We still got a few months to solve this riddle — and it’s not like the kid is going to come out speaking — but the sooner I can work it out, the better. (For my mental serentity, you know.)
On the other hand, our names don’t really matter, not even a little bit. The baby is going to arrive and we’re going to be head over heels and that is that.
But choosing a name gives me something to fixate on. Something to do while I wait.
‘Cause we all know how great I am at waiting…
This same time, years previous: party at the polls, wanna place bets?, three days of birthday, wedding buns, church, the quotidian (9.30.19), hey-hey, look who’s here!., welcome home to the circus, the myth of the hungry teen, pointless and chatty, 37.
28 Comments
Jeanie
I’m late reading this but my grandchildren call me GranJeanie with a French accent, courtesy of my oldest grandchild. My husband is Papa.
Kat
JenNana and JohnPop!
Miriam Allison
I called my grandparents Grandpa & Grandma (last name), but I was raised in the 1960’s. No grandkids of my own yet, although I imagine I will be called Mimi, since my niece and nephews already use that. I have some friends who became Gigi and Pops once their grandkids arrived.
You might enjoy this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEnw-TDuwn0
Jennifer Jo
Oh my gosh THAT VIDEO!!!
Tracey
I called mine Gran.
I like Grammy or Gram for myself when it’s time.
My kids call theirs Nana and they came up with that themselves.
Sheryl Archote
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! My grands and great grands call me Gammer and my husband Gaffer. I’ve never heard anyone else called by those old English monikers, except us!
Kim
Congratulations!!
I suppose I’m still stuck on the fact your kids call you by your first names! How did thst evolve? Im curious
Jennifer Jo
The oldest one copied us — how the adults call each other. Neither of us were fans, but let it go. Eventually it faded, but the kids still use our first names sometimes. And their grandparents’ occasionally. (Generally speaking, our community is a first-name community.) It doesn’t bother me at all anymore…
Alysha in Seattle
We have two ‘uncommon’ ? grandparent names in our family:
G’ma (prounounced JeeMa)
Mémé (our french grandmother was always referred to this way)
Patty
I waited to see what our first born grandchild called us before settling on official names. In the meantime, we referred to ourselves as Grandma and Grandpa. When he could finally talk and used consistent words we became Nana and Baja. Now the batch of grandkids call us that.
Congratulations, Jennifer! That baby will be well loved.
Misha Leigh
That video is everything! Huge congrats on 20 years of home, 50 years of you, and now being a grandma!
Mama Pea
Our daughter doesn’t have children of her own but was a nanny for 15 years. She’s remained very close to several of the kids (4 different families) so we’ve also grown to love them also. We became Mama Pea (“pea” for my gardening obsession) and my husband was supposed to, therefore, be Papa Pea. But the first little guy couldn’t say “Papa Pea” but rather managed Pop-Pop. So that’s what we’ve been called for years even by the ones currently in their teens. (Maybe you should be Mama C. (You know, the “C” for your amazing cheese making talent!) Anywho, belated happy birthday and congratulations on the coming blessed grandbabe.
Sheri Smucker
I know a:
Hop Hop
Pappy
Grandpa
Nana
Gramma
Grampa
Oma
Opa
Gigi
Meme (me-me)
Papa
GramPam
Tata
Grandma
katie
I love Oma and Opa! That was my vote for when I had kids but wasn’t the pick in the end.
Kim
My dad wanted to be granddad, as his father was to us, but my oldest son called him Dano and it stuck! It will always be my favorite.
I also love both Happy and Lovey for a grandmother – or Lita, short for abuelita!
Patricia
Opa and Oma. You have German ancestry (I don’t know John’s distant origins, though)
Rachel L.
Congratulations!! My mom goes by Nana to my daughter, and my dad goes by Grandad (after his own grandfather). Mom did NOT want to be called “grandma” or “granny,” and Nana seemed to fit. My favorite grandma name is “Gran.” That’s what Dicey and her siblings called their wild woman of a grandma in Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt. I’ve just always loved the simplicity and sturdiness of it.
adventuresofhappyandnanSue
My husband and I are grandparents and the grandkids call us Happy and Nan. Some of our grandkids called their other Grandfather Grampy. My sister’s grandkids call her “BB” as her one daughter-in-law is from an Asian country where that means Grandmother, her given name is Barbara so it seemed a natural for her.
Whatever you decide I’m sure it will just feel right!
Aili
Congratulations!!
As for names, my grands were Grandma and Grandpa First Name on one side, and Granny and Papa on the other. I only recently learned that Granny called HER favorite grandfather “Papa,” which is apparently how we got there, and I love that.
My dad and step mom are Grandma Robyn and Grandpa Walter (she wanted to be “Gramma Robba” but Petra unsurprisingly out an end to that as soon as she could talk). JC’s parents are Marmee (like from Little Women) and Poppy.
My stepdad is Grandpa Gary, and my mom is Grammy. HER mom is the Granny mentioned above and she (Granny) hated that my mom wanted to be Grammy, because it was confusing. By this point in her life, everyone under 30, from neighbors to the lady at the local deli, called her Granny. My mom made her go by GG, for “Great Granny,” which nobody was happy about. Which is all to say, take into account what the baby’s living great-grandparents are called, and be mindful. Although recycling a family grandparent name from someone who has passed might be sweet.
Too late for it to change anything, my mom meet someone whose grandson called both his grandmas “Honey [First Name].” I think it was Honey Lynn and Honey Janet. Which is freaking adorable.
Regardless of where you end up, I know you are going to be awesome grandparents!
DB Stewart
Such a fantastic rap honouring you and your birthday! The Easter egg too! Cried a bit.
Congratulations! Our fifth grandbaby is due in December.
My wife chose Nannie, her favourite grandma’s moniker; I chose Pops, short for grandpops. Their other grandparents are called Grandma & Grandpa but our SIL called his grandma, Grammy. Our son’s father-in-law’s family is Portuguese, so he’s called Avo. All special.
MAC
Happy happy birthday and congratulations! This reminds me of a story I read years ago in the WaPo or Guardian. A rather elegant grandmother was determined to be called a version of “grandma” in French by the new grandbabies. She worked very hard at it. But toddlers being toddlers, they of course fashioned their own name for her.
I believe it was “Splat.”
Congrats again! So exciting!
Melinda Armentrout
My grandparents were Granny, Grandma, and Grandaddy. I am Minnie and Mimi to my grands. My husbund wanted Grandaddy while my son’s father in law prefers Pops. My mom is NanNan (Nancy) and Pap. “Adopted Grandmothers” are Mom Maxine and GG Angie.
Have fun with it! Sometimes it’s the kids who in the end choose your name regardless of what you pick.
melodiemillerdavis
Awesome! And the video is so “Murch” … I just go with grandma. My sister-in-law puts up with 4-5 different names the grands have chosen to call her. I can’t name them all. Good luck figuring it out. Sorry I’m not help. But best wishes in this journey, so fun and you have them nearby!
Becky R.
It will come to you and to your kids. Congratulations to everyone! I loved the video.
katie
oh fun! We had the first grandchild in the same sized family so it was totally a conversation as well — a great thing to consider during this latent period of waiting! Then my siblings kids chose different names for my grandparents so… it’s a little confusing, but we make it work. We ended up pulling the name Baba (from the book, “The Mitten”) and Papa (because they sounded good together). Also wondering about using the name Jenny (or Jen) but with a Y sound in place of the J. For some reason, i feel like that would be easier for small kids and kinda a nice riff on your name for a new generation (yeneration?). I also like the name Grams. Like, me and my Grams went bowling! Hey Grams, how are ya?!?
Andrea
I don’t have any real suggestions except to say that when I was expecting my first, neither my mom nor my MIL were willing to relinquish the title of “Grandma”. The precocious baby then referred to my MIL as “Grandma” and my mom as “Other Grandma” (seen less often). It continues today…16 years of a sort of Thing 1 and Thing 2 situation…beware! And CONGRATS!
Judy L
How exciting!
My cousin’s name is Anna, and her grandchildren call her Granna.
Marie Nicholson-Hutt
Happy birthday! Congratulations! Wow. My parents didn’t want to be called like we called ours (Grandma and Grandpa Last Name). So, they have Nana and Papa. My kids had Pakistani grandparents on the other side, so it’s Dadee, Dada for them. And my ex called his grandma Amee-Jee. (Which is untraditional- another meaning of mom.) I think you guys have a lot of connection to the Spanish language so maybe one of those? Like Abuelita? Lol. Congratulations again. Love their birthday video, too.