water kefir

A few months back, I decided to try water kefir (pronounced kah-FEAR).

I love my carbonated water — and I have the bulk tank of gas to prove it — but a naturally fizzy water flavored with a few pieces of fruit? That’s supposed to be good for you??

I was curious. So I ordered a starter packet of grains and 6 flip-top jars. I researched my eyeballs out. And then I ran test after test after test. Here are my water kefir cliffnotes, as per my system. 

Water Kefir, A Process
Once the kefir grains have been hydrated, the system is as follows.

Step 1: Mix ½ cup of raw sugar with water in a half-gallon jar. Pour in the kefir grains. Top off the jar with cool water. Cover with a piece of paper towel and leave on the counter for 48 hours. This is Ferment #1. 

Step 2: After 48 hours, the liquid will be brown from the raw sugar and only mildly sweet. There might be bubbles on top of the jar, and if you tap it, bubbles will shoot to the top. Pour the jar’s contents through a sieve to catch the grains.

Step 3: Repeat Step 1 to start the next batch of water kefir, using the grains that are draining in the sieve.

Step 4: Pour the fresh water kefir into fliptop jars. Add fresh/dried/frozen fruit, herbs, juice, and maybe a teaspoon of sugar (if the ingredients don’t have much natural sugar). Let the jars sit on the counter for 24-48 hours. Every morning and evening, burp the jars. This is the 2nd ferment. 

Step 5: As the kefir becomes ready, white bubbles form on the surface. When burping, there is a ‘POP’ upon opening, “steam” swirls out, millions of bubbles race to the surface, and the drink comes bubbling up and out of the jar. When very ready, fruit may end up on the ceiling.

Pro tip: when opening, place the jar in the sink and cover with a wash cloth to contain the chaos.

Once you’ve got the proper fizz, refrigerate the bottle and drink within 2-3 days. A good water kefir tastes gently sweet, fruity, and wonderfully fizzy. A so-so water kefir has a slight touch of gentle funk. A “nope” kefir tastes like bread yeast or rotten fruit. 

Flavor Experiments and Suggestions
Here are the kinds of water kefir I’ve made and what I’ve thought. (All amounts are added to a liter of first-ferment water kefir in a fliptop jar.)

Pineapple: ½ cup canned pineapple juice
Good flavor. Excellent fizz.
Watermelon Mint: 2-4 tablespoons fresh watermelon juice and a couple sprigs of fresh mint
Weak fizz, leans towards yeast.
Mojito: juice of 1 lime mixed with 1 teaspoon sugar, 2-3 sprigs fresh mint
Very delicious and light, average fizz.
Ginger Lemon: Juice of ½ lemon, a couple slices of fresh ginger, sometimes a drizzle of honey
Good flavor, weak fizz. 
Coconut: canned coconut water, lime juice, fresh mint
Weak flavor and fizz.
Sour cherry: frozen sour cherries with juice
Yeasty, mild fizz
Whey and Coconut Water: ⅓ cup sweet whey and coconut water
Disgusting. No fizz
Guanabana: canned guanabana juice
Thick texture/flavor, but good, not great fizz
Raspberry: 10-15 frozen raspberries
Light and delicious, pretty color, good fizz
Grape 1: frozen grape juice concentrate
Good grape flavor (like grape ice pops), average fizz
Grape 2: 10 fresh grapes, mashed
Light flavor, a little yeasty, explosive fizz
Blackberry: 6-8 frozen blackberries cut in half
Spectacular color, mild flavor, decent fizz
Apple Cider, plain: ⅓ cup cider
Delicious, wonderful bubbles
Apple Cider, jacked: ⅓ cup cider, 5 raisins, a piece of cinnamon bark, some dried apples
Coworkers say it tastes like an alcohol-free hard cider, great fizz
Peach: a scoop of canned peaches
Kinda bland, but it ferments well.
Orange Marmelade: a scoop of orange marmelade jam
Unexciting, didn’t fizz well.

Pro-tip: If a water kefir is acting extra sluggish on its second ferment, add a couple glugs of a strong, finished water kefir. That usually picks up the pace.

Now, a couple months later, I’m of two minds — maybe three — about water kefir. 

Mind One
It’s delicious and fun to play with and now I don’t need carbonated water, yay!

Mind Two
Water kefir is just one more thing to tend to, and since the family prefers straight water, why bother? 

Also, since it’s so full-flavored — it feels almost like a food — I only drink a glass a day. With carbonated water, I can easily down a full liter with just a kiss of fresh lemon, no sugar at all. In other words, water kefir doesn’t meet my craving for bottomless fizzy sipping.

Mind Three
I can’t quite shake the feeling that all this prattle about water kefir being good for you is a bunch of hooey. I mean, there’s all that sugar that gets added at the beginning, after all. I know the grains supposedly “eat” the sugar, and it’s true that the starter ferment doesn’t taste hardly sweet at all after the 48 hours, but I don’t get it.

The sugar’s still there, right? 

And generally speaking, I’m skeptical about the whole probiotic craze. The way people go on and on about it, you’d think probiotics will fix everything that’s wrong with your body, mental health, relationships, and the whole freaking hell-in-a-handbasket world we’re living in. 

Yeah right.

Since drinking water kefir, I haven’t noticed a single change expect that I’m perhaps mildly constipated. 

So that’s my water kefir adventure thus far.

For what it’s worth.

This same time, years previous: interview with a menopause researcher and specialist, the quotidian (9.18.23), fruit crisp ice cream, saag (sort of) paneer, family night, bottle calves, the unraveling, black bean and veggie salad, historical fun, the big bad wolf and our children, in defense of battered kitchen utensils.