Last week, my older son texted, I need relationship counseling. My office is open, I wrote back.
For nearly two hours, he perched on my dresser, his heels hooked on the hanging-open bottom drawer, while we hashed out his relationship with his girlfriend, my relationship with my husband, core values, personality differences, decision-making methods, life goals, etc, etc. The two of them had a good thing going, we both agreed. Also, it’s okay to take things slow, I said.
The next night they came out for supper and announced they were getting married.
I actually wasn’t surprised — from the very beginning, our entire family has thought (and hoped) this was where the relationship was heading — but I was shocked. My son’s getting married. Our family is gaining a new sister/daughter/WIFE. What the what?!?!
Gradually, the news is settling. I’m beginning to wrap my head around this seismic change. Our family now includes another person. My son’s loyalties are shifting . . . and so are mine: for all these years, I’ve had his back; now I have their back. This switch is so strange — and terribly scary: vulnerability, risk, and hope are inextricably intertwined — but it’s also liberating. I’m free to love her now.
My husband and I have been spending a lot of time processing, thinking back to our few whirlwind months of long-distance dating and our seven-week engagement when I was twenty. We were so young, we marvel, shaking our heads. That two people can decide to do life together — it’s audacious, really.
Aren’t they radiant?
This same time, years previous: a hernia, hip-hip!, the big finale, the proper procedure for toweling off after a shower, the quotidian (9.7.15), regretful wishing, how to clean a room, Saturday, the big night.
CONGRATULATIONS! An exciting new chapter in everyone’s life.
Man those oldest children really push us their entire lives with “firsts!”
Hooray! Such happy, sweet news! I always feel like I am just a few steps behind you and so my eyes are a little watery but…big congrats!
Beautiful! Congratulations to you all.
Congratulations!!! I’ve been pondering on the fact i also got married at 20 and how absolutely insane it was but that I also wouldn’t change a thing.
So happy for all of you!!
Congratulations to all! Another new adventure for your family to enjoy. Happy days!
Congratulations to you all. Your words made my heart so full, because this is exactly the family I married into and I’m still in awe that it means me, too “..for all these years, I’ve had his back; now I have their back.”
Yes, they are radiant! Congratulations to them both, and to your family!
Huge conongratulations! How exciting.
Linda Martin Burkholder
YES! Such a wonderful thing, to find someone to walk with you into the big adventure of life!
Thrift at Home
Oh how wonderful and lovely!!! Oh my word! They are just beautiful together!
Awesome news! And IMO you have to be young and (somewhat) foolish to even attempt this whole marriage thing. I mean, if any of us really knew what it entails, we’d be too scared to try!
Congratulations to all! An absolutely beautiful couple!
Happy news. Soon you’ll be a grandma. Process that awhile
Congratulations to the happy couple, and congratulations to you on gaining a daughter!
ccr in MA
Aww, look at those smiles! Congrats to you all.
I knew! I knew it the second I saw the first picture you posted of them. Congratulations and the biggest, bestest wishes to you all! Such wonderful news!
Lovely. The event and the description.
Simply wonderful !
Wow. Such big, exciting news. So good.