I got it into my head that I wanted a super-creamy slicing cheese, so… I developed one!

Fat Cow is a variation of Butterkäse, that crowd-pleasing, semi-soft, washed-curd German cheese. My changes included culturing the milk with homemade yogurt and boosting it with an entire half gallon of cream because: if you want a creamier cheese, add more cream! Also, I tried to handle the curds less than normal: cutting them larger, cooking them more slowly, and stirring them less. 

The result?

It was exactly what I was going for: a sliceable — yet spreadable! — snacking cheese that’s mild with a bit of tang (think: cream cheese), ready in only 4 weeks, and enormously high-yielding.

sliceable AND spreadable

My six-and-a-half gallons of milk and cream yielded a 10-pound monster. ROAR.

Tasting video coming soon…

I do realize this isn’t a recipe most people will attempt, and I try to reserve the intricacies of cheesemaking for my YouTube channel, but since this blog is where I compile all my recipes — including the cheesy ones, haha — here we are.

Fat Cow Cheese
Recipe inspiration from Gavin Webber, Venison for Dinner, and Cheese 52.

If starting the cheese in the early morning, it should be ready to go into the brine at bedtime. If started late afternoon, it will be ready for the long press right at bedtime, and then can be popped into the brine first thing the next morning. 

To watch the recipe in development, go here.

6½ gallons whole milk
2 quarts heavy whipping cream
1½ teaspoons calcium chloride
1½ teaspoons rennet
1 generous cup yogurt
saturated salt brine

Milk-To-Curds
Heat the milk and cream to 102 degrees. 

Thin the yogurt with some of the warm milk and add it to the milk. Stir gently for about a minute. Lid the kettle and let the milk ripen for 40 minutes.

Dilute the calcium chloride with a little water and stir into the milk. Dilute the rennet with a little water and add to the milk. Stir gently (in an up-and-down motion) for no more than one minute. Lid the kettle and let rest for 40 minutes. 

Check for a clean break. (If not yet ready, let rest for another 10 minutes.) Cut the curds into ½-inch cubes. Let them rest (heal) for 5 minutes. 

Gently stir the curds for 20 minutes. Cut/break any curds that are still too large. Allow the curds to rest for 5 minutes to settle to the bottom.

Washing the Curd
Remove half of the whey. (I couldn’t get half of the whey because the curds kept popping up. I could’ve held the curds at bay with a strainer and scooped the whey out of that, but instead I choose to start washing the curds and then, once I had more liquid, I removed more. Either way! Just make sure you don’t stir too much or too hard — be gentle!)

Over the course of 5-10 minutes, add warm water (about 140 degrees) until the temperature reaches 108 degrees, stirring gently all the while. (If you didn’t get half of the whey removed the first time around, do it during this part.) 

Once the curds reach 108 degrees, turn off the heat and continue to stir gently for 10 minutes. The goal is to poach the curds — they should be cooked through, with no whey trapped inside. (Trapped whey damages the cheese during the aging process, resulting in a more acidic, crumbly cheese.) If you find curds that are too juicy-wet, simply tear/cut them in half, or remove them.

To test if the curds are done, squeeze them in your fist. The curds should knit together in a solid mass that can roll around in your hand, or dangle from your fingertips without falling apart, and will then separate back into curds when you rub them. 

Let the curds rest in the whey for 10 minutes. 

Pressing and Brining
Pour off the whey. Transfer the curds to a cheesecloth-lined mold and top with a follower. Press lightly for the first hour, flipping every 30 minutes. Increase the pressure to 20-30 pounds (this is still fairly light) and press for 9 hours. Flip as needed.

Weigh the cheese and then brine it in a saturated salt brine, about 4 hours for every pound. (For example, my cheese weighed 10 pounds so I brined it for 40 hours.) Flip halfway through. Dry-salt the exposed surface.

Air Drying and Aging
Air dry the cheese for 2-3 days, flipping twice a day. Vac-pack and age at 55 degrees for 4 weeks, flipping twice a week. 

This same time, years previous: the quotidian (11.15.21), sourdough English muffins, guayaba bars, success!, Thai chicken curry, the quotidian (11.16.15), lessons from a shopping trip, official, the quotidian (11.16.11).

Quotidian: daily, usual or customary;
everyday; ordinary; commonplace

For cheese. (No, really!)

He said it was a bit much.

Pretty, yes. Precise, no.

The variety, the abundance, the flavors — it never gets old.

Test bake: blueberry and lemon.

Meal delivery x 2.

The morning after a MEHPoeting reading.

Discrepancy.

Ee-i-ee-i-o.

Car shopping.

Deer in headlights.

The Crucible.

A new release.

This same time, years previous: perimenopause: Laura, age 48, my new kitchen: the refrigerator, Shakespeare behind bars, enough, for now, gravity, refrigerator bran muffins, the wiggles, chicken salad.

My, what a gloomy day. The off-and-on pouring rain is something else. (Whenever it increases to a heavy roar, and then stays at that level, I’m reminded of Hurricane Mitch — how the rain thundered on the tile roof of our little adobe house in northern Nicaragua for four days straight, so steady and oppressive, so loud.) But hey, it’s Friday and I’ve got cookies, so cheer up, folks!

These are immediate must-make cookies. I came across the recipe one day and made them the next — a double batch. (I had a feeling.) That same afternoon, I sent some over to my parents with my daughter, and then my mother called me with her mouth still full. What are these? They’re amazing! Send me the recipe.

This morning I had one with my coffee. My husband had one, too. And then he had another.

Now, mid-morning, the cake plate has been emptied [brushes crumbs from lips] and restocked with the cookies I’d foolishly thought I would squirrel away in the freezer. 

I fully expect the plate to be empty by bedtime. 

Jammy Crumble Cookies
Adapted from Dinner With Julie.

I made mine with red raspberry jam but I think fruit preserves (thick jam sauce made without the addition of pectin and often with slightly less sugar, like in this red raspberry sauce) might be even better. How about fig? Black raspberry? Spiced apple pie filling? A berry blend? You get the idea.

I strongly recommend doubling the recipe.

for the cookie:
½ cup butter
¼ cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons confectioner’s sugar
1 egg yolk
½ teaspoon vanilla
1 cup flour
¼ teaspoon salt

Cream the butter and sugars. Beat in the egg yolk and vanilla. Mix in the flour and salt.

for the crumble:
¼ cup oats, any kind
¼ cup flour
¼ cup pecans
¼ cup coconut
¼ cup brown sugar
pinch of salt
3 tablespoons butter

Put all the ingredients in the food processor and pulse until crumbly. 

to assemble:
the butter dough
the crumb topping
½ cup jam

Divide the butter dough into 12 balls. Place each ball in a well-greased muffin tin and press it down in the center with your fingers; the “dip” needs to be large enough to hold at least 1 teaspoon of jam.

Fill the “dips” with jam and generously spoon the crumbs on the outside edges of the cookies, leaving a space in the center for the jam to peak through. Really pile it on.

Bake the cookies at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Let them cool for 10-20 minutes before running a knife around the edge and carefully coaxing each cookie from its cup.

These store well at room temperature, and they can be frozen as well (but don’t bother).

This same time, years previous: six fun things, introducing how we homeschool: a series, what we ate, of mice and men and other matters, unleashing the curls!, George Washington Carver sweet potato soup with peanut butter and ginger, butternut squash galette with caramelized onions and goat cheese, the quotidian (11.11.13), pumpkin cranberry cream cheese muffins.