Friends, I need your help.

Here’s the backstory. Nearly two years ago, I started a YouTube channel. Back then, I wasn’t exactly sure what the channel was going to be about, but I knew I wanted to find a way to take the experiences and skills I’ve acquired (cooking, parenting, acting, writing, preserving food, cheesemaking, etc) and monetize them. I’d done a good bit of research, and teaching via YouTube seemed doable, practical, and fun. So I jumped right in, and, as per my usual approach to new things, learned by doing. 

I hated YouTube at first. Despised it, really. The learning curve was wicked steep and the work so tedious, draining, and isolating that I wasn’t at all sure I’d stick with it. In fact, if I’d known how hard it was going to be, I probably never would’ve started it in the first place. But I’m stubborn, and once I zeroed in on cheesemaking, things began to crystallize. Slowly I became more comfortable with the editing software and filming hardware, and the channel began to grow — as I was told it would if I did All The Things, which I have mostly done.

This past weekend, I consulted with a friend of my brother’s who is leagues beyond me in this field (though to even say we’re in the same field is hilarious; I’m not even on the same planet as him). The good news is, Mr. Consultant Man said I have the solid grasp of the subject matter, as well as the personality and natural intuition for making videos, but I’m crap at marketing and branding. I already knew that, but he didn’t have any patience for my insecurities and I’ll-just-cobble-this-together approach. If I want to turn this into an actual job, he said, I’d have to get serious, and the first step to getting serious is to get a freaking brand name already.

Why is a name — a brand — so important? Because, he explained, I need to appear established, trustworthy, and official if I’m going to win over subscribers and affiliates, and make a name for myself in the cheesemaking world. Also, I need to think about the future and who might buy me out (?!?!), though by that point in the conversation my brain was exploding so I’m ignoring that one for now.

Up until now I’ve just used Jennifer Murch as my channel name because it’s the name of my blog, because I didn’t know what I was going to be doing when I started the channel, because I don’t want to pigeonhole myself, and because I’m hopeless at naming things. (It’s a miracle I managed to name four humans.)

So here’s where you come in. Will y’all pretty please help me find a name? Many brains are better than one stuck brain, right? And also, it occured to me a couple days ago that you, in some ways, might actually be able to see me more clearly that I can see myself. I’m in the thick of the muddle, but you’re on the outside looking in.

To get you started, here are a few things to consider:

• The name should look equally good on a bottle of mead, a bag of granola, a cheese, a cookbook, and (this one is pushing it) a homeschooling pamphlet. While the channel is about cheese right now, that may shift over time, or I may end up doing two things at once. On the other hand, maybe I should stop trying to keep my options open and just go fullsteam into cheesemaking? This is the big question.
• Some random words that describe how I feel about what I’m doing: creative, earthy, rebellious, playful, raw, chaotic, snappy. 
• Here are a few neutral and versatile names I like: Barefoot, The Golden Pony, Fever Tree, The Hungry Belly, Magpie, Bottomless. Numbers are a possibility, like Twelve51. Contradictions could be fun, such as The Sweet Cactus. If I was going strictly with cheese: my top two choices would be Freewheeling and MilkSlinger.
• What else should I be taking into consideration? What do you see that I don’t? Any marketing geniuses out there?

(I’ve been trying to think of role models. For example, YouTuber Nate Black uses his name for his channel, but he just changed his YouTube banner to the new title of “Radical Moment.” So maybe I can still use my name, but I just need to get a name/brand/title for the cheesemaking channel and stop worrying about all the other things I may want to do?)

So anyway, there you go. I need a name, hit me up. (Bonus points for logo ideas.)

This same time, years previous: Lil Peach: the bus life, the quotidian (12.6.21), my sweet beast, holding, iced ginger shortbread, my kids are weird.

I never finished telling you about the whole wisdom teeth ordeal…

Days 15 and 16, I stayed off the pain meds, determined to just get better already. Plus, I felt woozy on the drugs — headachy and tired and bleh — and I figured it was time for me to buck up. As though I had control, ha!

Day 16, my ear started hurting. I knew I’d be taking pain meds on Day 17 when I was going to play Ultimate come hell or high water, and began counting down the hours until I could take medicine again. And then my husband was like, This is stupid; take the meds. So I did.

Day 17, I played Ultimate. Also, the ear pain was getting worse.

Day 18, the ear pain was spreading to my chin, eyebrow, cheekbone. All my teeth on that side of my mouth felt tender, like they were riddled with cavities. I called the oral surgeon and left a message with the friendly receptionist. My main question: Was this increased pain normal? Had there been complications I didn’t know about? And no, I had no red gums, bleeding, swelling, fever, etc, etc. Everything else looked and felt good.

at work: a soft lunch

Day 19, the friendly receptionist called back. To summarize: The doctor said your surgery was quite difficult so your recovery will be longer than normal. The pain will migrate around your face as you heal. You can always come in if you’d like us to check it. Have you tried hot compresses? Their “I’m sorry but there’s nothing we can do” attitude was beginning to give me the distinct impression that they didn’t believe that I was in pain, or that they thought I was trying to get more drugs (which I was). 

That day I called my husband at work and told him I could no longer advocate for myself. A few minutes later my son (the ER nurse) called me. When I asked him if there were any other options beyond Oxycodone, he rattled off a huge list of medicines, as well as over-the-counter options and home remedies, which made me really feel like the oral surgeon was ignoring me. I decided I wasn’t going to drive an hour round trip and pay big bucks to have them look in my mouth and repeat that there was nothing they could do for me, so . . .

Day 20, I called my regular dentist. Might I come in and have someone look at the incisions just to confirm that everything is actually okay? I asked.

At the dentist’s office, they flatout said, “You should not be having pain. Something is wrong.” They took photos and asked me questions and consulted with each other. The dentist noted that one side of my face was ever-so-slightly warmer and more swollen, immediately called in a prescription for antibiotic, and when I teared up thanking her, she wrapped me in an enormous bear hug. There’s no charge for this one, she said.

med notes

The pain lessened dramatically over the next several days but it took another five days or so for me to go off pain meds completely. Exactly four weeks to the day of my surgery, I went running for the first time (the pain and stiffness was always worse in the morning), and now, nearly six weeks out, I’m almost one-hundred percent back to normal. 

All things considered, getting my wisdom teeth out wasn’t terrible. I never once gagged on blood or threw up. I ate just fine (mostly). My face hardly swelled at all, and I didn’t get dry socket. I continued to live and do things and function. (I made cheese on Day Two, for crying out loud.) But ongoing pain is distracting and exhausting, and the medicines, while necessary and absolutely wonderful, change how one feels, which only adds to the cycle, a cycle which seems to get increasingly vicious at every turn. To finally be on the other side, and to feel like myself once again, unmedicated and pain-free, is rather incredible.

The End
(for real this time)

This same time, years previous: whey ricotta, how we homeschool: Rebecca, Clymer and Kurtz, my sweet beast, the quotidian (12.4.17), the quotidian (12.5.16), oatmeal sandwich bread, in my kitchen: 6:44 p.m., cinnamon raisin bread, baked ziti.

My children regularly send me instagrams and then every few days I tell my husband I have some fun stuff to show him and he’ll plop down on the sofa beside me and pop in an earbud. (Are we the only one who share earbuds on the regular?) It’s a great way to end the day, or the week.

Here are a few of my favorites, collected by my children and curated by me.

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“Nobody knew where you were and your phone was off!”
(Version Number Two is the more accurate me.)

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I stand by this one hundred percent.

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We have firsthand experience with porky pigs like these.

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My older daughter says this is what working with my husband is like. (My husband is the one with the hammer.)

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Her eyes!

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Don’t you DARE eat before supper.

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Also from my older daughter. (I get a lot of carpentry clips.)

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In my dreams…

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Snow is awesome.

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Truth!

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Not my moves.

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They could’ve at least faced the other direction!

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Have a good weekend, friends. xo

This same time, years previous: a food-filled weekend in Brooklyn, ippy, millionaire’s pie, books and movies, in the sweet kitchen, the quotidian (12.1.14), Thanksgiving of 2013, peppermint lip balm.