Garden With An Attitude

These days, the garden has been getting a bit too big for it’s britches. And it has an attitude. It back talks me by shooting up the weeds, as prolifically as the filth that streams from a sailor’s mouth.

It slams the door on any fruitful dialogue we could possibly have by just up and dying on me. It invites in hoards of june bugs so they can buzz wickedly about, bouncing off my head, causing me to duck and dodge and yelp.

So this morning I decided it was high time for a little discipline. I ripped out the onions by their hair and laid them out to toast in the hot sun.

I slung the wormy broccoli on to the compost pile. I yanked out a couple giant red beets (who were actually being fairly obedient and docile, so I wasn’t too upset with them). I photographed the zucchini because I didn’t know what else to do with it.

And the pumpkins…

I dug some potatoes because they are doing well and I needed to get something positive out of my garden and it’s always fun to unearth those big, white balls.

Then I brought all my produce inside and studied it for a minute: zucchini, cucumbers, potatoes, broccoli, beets. And then I turned it into lunch. I washed the beets and wrapped them in foil and stuck them in the oven. I swirled melted butter in a 9×13 pan and layered in slices of potato, carrot, zucchini, onion, hotdogs and sausages left over from last night’s fondue, and broccoli chunks, poured more melted butter over it all, sealed the top with foil, and baked it.

When it was done, Mr. Handsome, who at that point was falling over from hunger and trying to help me get lunch on, poured the leftover cheese fondue over it all. And lunch was served.

Watch out, Garden, I’m gonna get you.